Continuation fr My Ideal Guy List

In today's news - two lesbians in Australia were sentenced to jail after they were found guilty of murdering another girl. One lesbo suspected that the girl ( their new housemate, or something like that, if my memory didn't fail me ) was flirting with her partner. So her partner decided to kill the girl to prove her love to the other. Guess what, after they murdered her, they kissed....

Did I mention that one of them drinks blood too as some sort of vampire ritual ?



This sort of sadistic news makes me very skeptical of love. If you really love someone, you'd trust them, not ask them to prove their love to you by taking another person's life, and kiss them right after the murder as a 'sick' reward ! Urgh...a depressing note to a positive post..



But let us remain positive and see whether I can come up with another 9 characteristics of my Ideal / Mr Right.

The Top 9 Characteristics of My Ideal Guy

Actually, to admit the truth, I already kinda have an ideal guy, whom I'm waiting for. But then again, he's just IDEAL, in my humble opinion. Mr Ideal may not be Mr Right. I don't want to impose too tight a criteria and campak Mr Right because he doesn't match ' this and this and that'. But I do have some ideas of people who are compatible with me and whom I can get along pretty well with. So this list is really..more like..a list of the common factors of guys whom I've fallen for share.

I've a long way to go, so maybe, I'll have to update this from time to time, but I think the general rules will persevere ! ;)

1. A man.

I cannot, cannot , cannot take orders from people easily. And I don't listen to just anyone, I don't even listen to my parents sometimes ! - the best example would be my career choice, which I fought for almost 2 years. Haha, I'm a real stubborn bitch at times.

Which is why I say, I need a MAN. A REAL man. A kind of guy who's mature, decisive, trustworthy, honest, someone who has a sense of purpose and direction and ambition in life, someone whom I can respect and admire, who'd always intuitively knows the right thing to do and doesn't need someone to mollycuddle/make all decisions 24/7.

I cannot, cannot, cannot stand wishy washy guys. The kind of guys who are always going " Should we do this ? Or that ? Aiya I don't know la, you choose " , who don't know what to do with themselves, what to do in life, how to make people happy, how to be discerning in judging people/making decisions/ taking action/ socializing, who lack confidence, and who aren't capable of taking care of others or being a good leader. Aduhai, I just can't.

Maybe what I'm talking about is society's image of a 'macho' guy. But a 'macho' guy doesn't necessarily have to be a guy who LOOKS tough and brave and capable and has all the 6 pack, triceps, biceps, whatever you want to call it. I mean, yea, they do look protective, to a certain extent ( I'd very much like to have them around when I meet a burglar ) but the maturity of mind and character is also very important.

I need a man who has a sense of integrity, a sound knowledge of right and wrong, and a great belief in himself and the good of mankind ( meaning, a person who still believes and sees the best in people, not the ones who pinpoint a person's fault and laugh at their misfortune ). A man who strives to be the best in what he loves to do, a man who has passion (for something else apart from sex! duh..) , a man who makes the best of what he has, and uses it to make it even better, a man who thrives in whatever environment, circumstance, country, and climate ! ( haha, the last one was actually intended just for rhyme, but somehow, it does ring true, I'd want a guy who can succeed in a harsh, biased, political climate, or deserts, snow, and storm ! )

To me, maturity is achieved when a person can take care of others as well as themselves, which is why my guy has to be a MAN, one who is capable of handling someone as volatile, impulsive, at times indecisive and unpredictable, and deceivingly innocent-looking but very stubborn person like me.

2. .............

You know what, these two requirements are the only ones I have for my Ideal Guy/ Mr Right.

I'm not asking for a good-looking guy, or making it mandatory for him to have a 6 figure monthly salary and to give me 3 holidays abroad a year. I'm not even asking for him to a faithful boyfriend/lover/husband/virgin even. I honestly believe in good, strong, foundations and to me, if he matches the 2 most important requirements I'm looking for, the rest of all that " must be loyal to me, love me as who I am 100% and my family and my cat and have a nice car and big house " crap will come too, naturally and eventually.

Haha, so to conclude, ( actually, I have really low standards right ? So..how come I'm still single ??? Aiya, God, faster bring him to come see me la! )

My Ideal Guy/Mr Right has to have the similar life principles as yours truly, has to share the same faith in the One True God, and has to be a man.

Tada. Only 3 requirements ( technically 2, because people of the same religion should share similar life principles, but then again that has not been statiscally proven so well.. )

Can I ever find one ?

*** I think I have ***

My Ideal Guy

Haha, I was reading Joanne Lee's blog - http://www.rainbowscolours.blogspot.com/ when I got an idea for this post...

Joanne's my prayer partner of 2.5 years, the person whom I go RUNNING/CRYING/SCREAMING to when I've trouble getting to God ! Despite the fact that we haven't seen each other, until like YESTERDAY for almost 2 years, I think I'm closer to her than a lot of people whom I see, talk, or smile to everyday. It's just chemistry, I suppose. But having a prayer partner ( especially one so faithful ) kept me sane throughout the SPM madness and the Gap Year Craziness.

Joanne, I dedicate this post to you. Thanks for always being there for me - the critical moments, the light hearted fun, the serious God talk, and the loving prayers.

And thanks for reminding me to stay and press onwards in the path I've chosen.

The Top Ten Characteristics of My Ideal Guy

( Voice 1001 in Stephie's head : Do we really have to do this ? Like uber embarrassing and boring and bimbo, no ?
Voice 122910 : No, no, no, we have to do this so Stephie will always be reminded and not fall for the wrong guy and get hurt and all that crappy stuff all over again ! It's a gentle reminder, now shut up and let her proceed ! )

- Perhaps to be reviewed from time to time..general guidelines, to prevent pain..like a panadol..only healthier ! ;)
- Ciplak a bit here and there la..fr a lot of people I know..but our idea of an ideal guy is basically a universal one ! Besides, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, is it not ?

1. ( Let's call him Mr Right/Ideal/Potential Ideal ) Religious Belief and Life Principles.

Mr Right/Ideal has to share the same principles of life with me. Meaning, he has to be of the same religion, or PRO CHRISTIAN at the very least. He has to be a person who loves God and takes religion seriously

- because I don't ? well, I'm TRYING very hard to k, I just read Jeremiah - But I love God. I really do, I just don't treat him that well, like the way I treat my own father and other males in general. Maybe I should stop being so chauvinistic in my way of thinking/ perceiving God as a male. Might do wonders for my spiritual life....

Religion gives you your basic fundamental principles of life, if you don't agree on the basic things of life, how can you possibly agree on more pressing / mundane issues ? How would Mr Wrong Masqerading as Mr Right/Ideal ever stay together with me and resulting us to being a lasting couple ?

Religion also equals to love. If you're a faith-believer, you'd have a different capacity of love. I somehow believe, that people who practise their religion faithfully, sincerely, correctly, and of course peacefully make better lovers.

Some think that when a person loves his/her God so much, they don't have anymore room for the human beings. But the truth is, we're created in the image of God and our Superior Creator has an infinite capability and capacity to love. And even if you don't believe that, use your common sense - ever seen a mother who has stopped loving their children ? Or a father who doesn't delight/feel even a seed of pride in their child's accomplishments ?

And besides, I can't be with someone who lies/cheats or likes to drink and smoke the whole day or doesn't give two hoots for charity/ friends/ spending time with family. I need someone who has similar life principles..ie : Someone who also believes in the importance of family, career, ambition, passion, hard work, humility, and service to others.

*********************I'm really tired now...blog more tomorrow la..........

How To Save a Life.

Where did I go wrong, I've lost a friend,
...
Had I known how to save a life.

- How To Save A Life, by the Fray.

This was the song I rewinded again and again to facilitate my salty tears.
I've just read your blog. If only you knew, when you grieve, I grieve too. I may seem two dimentional at times, but I really do care about you. I'm sorry if my intellect can't catch up with yours, I'm sorry if my comprehension skills cannot make sense of your pain and weariness, I'm sorry for not being able to be there for you, for being so helpless in your hour of need.

I really do care about you too, S.L.M, but sometimes, 24 hours just aren't enough to do all the things I want to do.

Numb grief took over my appetite when I heard what happened and how much you needed me at that point of time, and how terribly I've failed you. Is it true ? That I care more about the outsiders than you guys ? Am I really all that externally dressed but internally empty and substanceless ?

2nd Day of Being 18. It's tough. I'm not loving it.

I'm glad I didn't go to the Switchfoot concert. I'm so glad I didn't.

Goodbye Kiddo

I've only been 18 for a day and already I feel so weary. What happened to the elatedness of youth ? The exhiliration of turning 18 ? Pah, rubbish I tell you. The last hours of my 17 years were frankly some of the happiest I've experienced so far. And I tell you, I've experienced my fair share of pain, agony, discrimination, heartache, humiliation, stress, and fear, so I have every right in making comparisons.

But thanks so much, everyone who came and got me prezzies ! It was such a last minute thing, I'm frankly shocked you guys managed to come...Did you know they ran out of food ? Was it that good ? I wouldn't know, I was running up and down, hugging ( if before,I told everyone that dancing's the best exercise in the world, I now declare hugging the best calorie burner activity ever ! ) all my friends who came. I know some of you couldn't make it, and seriously, it's okay.
Perhaps Fate decided the attendees in advance. And I know, ramai yang kena buat performance, kerja, ajar, tak dapat cari transport, pergi cuti dah, and etc. Don't feel a pang of guilt, I rather you use that energy to plan our next meeting or think of a great bday prezzie for me ;) !

The evening went on pretty well, from what I hear from my party planner ( LOL !!! ). Games were awesome, according to various sources - you guys sure enjoy watching someone else get humiliated on the floor ! sadistic sa kais you -, but the highlight of the evening was definitely Khai Hoong and Jon Fam's singing rendition of my birthday poem, composed by the former ;)
Gosh, I can't believe I've only known you guys for 2 months..And I thought I'm the writer ? BLAH...No wonder you two were grinning in that overly gay,conspiring way...( please, Kelly, gay here means happy k, not the other one k )

Here's the poem for those of you who missed their song and for those of you who didn't..
Admire.

Now my friends we gather here,
Just before Chinese New Year,
Oh what a thrill,
We're in Bukit Jalil,
For Stephanie's party,

She is just eighteen years old,
With a scholarship thanks to Astro,
Fresh out of school,
But she's nobody's fool,
And bound for Colorado,

She's so tall I asked her why, ( Khai Hoong, you're treading on DANGEROUS GROUND here )
That's because she's a quarter Thai,
While growing up,
Saying 'sawadeekap',
That's just not Stephanie, ( yea lar, I know I'm short lar..you two tall handsome dudes laugh at my 5''6 height la )

We all know she loves to dance,
That the door at every chance,
From a ronde
To a develope,
And jump and slide and sway,

When she surfs the internet,
She likes to talk,
And she's proud of her blog, ( YES YES I AM !!! I cringed and laughed when they sang this part...)
It's called ADAGIO,

Just before we end this rhyme,
( I'm going into Extra Time )
We'd like to say,
On this awesome Friday.....
To Steph, Happy Birthday. ( perfect rhyme..excellent )


Steph Lee's Thank You List

1. MOM - is this the largest font ??? I LOVE MY MOM !!! SHE'S THE BEST MOM EVER ! SUPPORTIVE, DYNAMIC, LOVING, CARING, FUN,SARCASTIC - haha I had to put this in ! where d' ya think I get my sense of humour -, CREATIVE, ORGANIZED, GORGEOUS, and ABSOLUTELY FABULISTIC !!! Mom, you're the coolest mom ever, you give me anything and everything I need or desire in your power to give , the latter most of the time ! WITHOUT YOU, THERE"D BE NO ME... gosh, and that would be a sad sad world....
2. My family. I know my friends are a great bunch of people, and I'm so lucky and don't think I deserve your friendships really, but honestly speaking, I think the people who've always pulled me out of trouble and stuck by my through thick and thin are my parents, my sis, my cousins ( HONG LUN I HEART YOUR T-SHIT, sorry SHIRT ), my late grandma, my Mom's darling siblings who are also my AUNTS..and my other set of extended relatives.
3. GOD. IF the whole world abandoned me, You'll still be there for me, my Abba Father whom I hardly make time for...THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME shitless, even if I totally fucked up everything I did, YOU'd STILL LOVE ME UNCONDITIONALLY despite my vast stupidity,foolishness, naivety,plain bodohness, YOU"d still wouldn't condemn me and love me WHOLE HEARTEDLY which is something I'm just plain grateful for.Oh the power of cussies ! won't all you teenage people agree with my raging 18 yr old hormones which are just about to be taking over my sanity WAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKA...
4. Everyone who came to my party and wished me Happy Birthday. Here's the exhausting list - just scroll down and look for your name la, tak payah busybody and kepoh lol..

• WMSers - ( In no particular order k, I don't play favourtism, I hate and love you all exactly the same! ) Zhuang Xiao, Alex, Jian Han, Jason Loh ( and gf !!! so cute you two ) , Cheng Lee, Xae Hoyy, Khai Wen ( and bf !!! ), Tarrant, Peak Sheng, Mary, Jason Chow, Hui Shan, Munnie,Rachel How, Sue Ching,Mel, Yiing Chyi,
• C.C.C people - Once again, no particular order...but admittedly I love some of you more, and you know who you are.. Jenn and Jo Lau, Ryan Chew, Christine Lim ( the 1st guests to arrive I LOVE YOU 4 !!! ), Pastor Micheal and Sis Siew Chin, Hai Yen, Emily Tang, William Mok, Wing Tsun, Agnes, Daniel Quah, Kumar, Daniel Lim, Cherie, Alyssa, Beatrice, Cheryl, Joel Yap, Annette and Matthew Chan, Desmond, Tommy, Josiah, Abigail.
• My BK FRIENDS !!! Ken Jon and Jon Mah
• MY ASS-TRO [sorry sorry, TYPO, Astro.. ;) ] soon to be workmates and already superbly tight friends Joel Lee and Shawn Liam
• The Jokers of the Evening...Khai Hoong and Jon Fam...adoi you two....
• My SBU muakxxies... Kim Loh, Peh Lin, Sze Min, Shin Yi
• All those who tried to make it but couldn't : Claire, Sam, Yi Zhen, Thomas, Rachel Janaki Raju,Ruki, Hui Wen, Zhi Wen, all my dance ( BOTH BALLET AND JAZZ, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT ??? THE PEOPLE WHO'VE SHARED MY PAIN, JOY, LAUGHTER, AND TEARS FOR NEARLY A YEAR...WHO MEAN SO MUCH TO ME...) classmates - party planner's oversight la.......Sharon !!! ...-, Chow Sook Yee, Jackie, Richmond, Asher, Sarah, Kim, Elsa, Yean Xin, Caryn, Kay Lee, Pui Yee,Rachel Heah, Denise Chuah, Andrew Chow, Connie, Jason Lim, Natalie, MY DARLING PRAYER SIS - Joanne Lee, Bahirah, Shaj, Manpreet, Janice, Mikella, Samantha fr church, Raymond fr church...

I'm awfully sorry if I missed out anyone...believe me, I didn't mean to do so ! Tried my best to remember who came...coz I didn't exactly draw up the guest list so...but thanks everyone, lova ya all...

I miss being 17 already. When I poured that champagne, and blew the candles, I glanced around, trying to remember every single detail, every single face, every single thing. Memories are all I have. I don't think I'll ever have such an awesome party again, perhaps, this is an 'if' clause. We'll all leave and go our seperate ways, travel and settle down in different countries around the world, I doubt I'll ever be able to gather the same bunch of friends under one roof ever again. For some of you, this might be the last time I ever get to see you.

I guess, what being 18 really means, is, farewell to 17. Like Hong Lun and Aemilia so aptly wrote, ' Welcome to Adulthood'.

PS : No one can say God's not fair.

My 1st day of 18yr-hood came with its fair share of challenges. One of the most self negative days I've had in awhile. Couldn't concentrate in classes, my pupils prob thought I totally sucked, cried while listening to one of my birthday presents, I didn't prac dance because of stupid stupid argh I don't want to say it,

But, Celeste smsed " Happy Birthday " to me. SILENCE. STUNNED.TOTAL HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY. And Tilla and Sze Ann msged me right after that. More birthday messages soon followed and it rained real bad the whole evening ,so now, there's that fresh, after rain scent which I just love. I couldn't go to the pasar malam and get my fav pancakes but I opened Jason C.'s chocs instead and had FOUR gorg ones all to myself. I got paid today despite all the shouting and threats and near death situations..Stupid Switchfoot concert's on today and I didn't go because...argh another stupidity of mine but anyway I went to KLCC anyway and met up with Jia Wei - happy b'day girlie ! , Theng Koon, Rachel How -AGAIN !!! - , Li Geok, and the stupid Clinton supporter Kenneth, which was way more fun than any stupid old rock concert would have been. Oh, but meeting them at Chilli's reminded me so much of Thomas..

I haven't got anyone to spend Valentine's Day this year with !!!! SHIT..I'm actually gonna be celebrating it alone...even my gf/bf's aren't here to celebrate it with me no more.. PEOPLE ! If you're celebrating it without that stupid over rated so called better half/special someone, COME FIND ME !!! But then again, I've lunch dates for next Tues and Wed...and meeting my darlings Jenn and Jo for lunch tomorrow too ! And so many CNY open house invites this year !...And the guy I'm currently eyeing..seems to be eyeing me too...His gorg smile..Oh Swooness..

Yea, no one can say God ain't fair.

happy birthday to me..............

Escapsim of Guilt For God's Love

"I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself." (Jeremiah 31:3)

"See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands." (Isaiah 49:16)

God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5)

God, You so totally rock. I really really should read my Bible more...I mean, I said on national TV that it was my favourite book of all time and it's listed in every one of ( the very few ) interviews I give ( forced to give, actually )

Why am I so bad with this whole prayer thing >>>>

I'm guilt ridden for not spending enough time with You...just turn me into a nun...

Actually, becoming a nun wouldn't be such a bad idea.

ESCAPISM.

The Author of The Beginning and The End

A New Year signifies a new beginning, a chance to change ourselves for better and tackle the challenges ahead of us with even more aplomb and flourish ! For the aspiring dancer in me, it means a new year with new goals to achieve - double pirrouttes on pointe, perfect grande jete en tournant, consistency in class, and artistry in performance.

But the Christian side of me has her spiritual goals too, I can't leave them out, I've TRIED, believe me, I'm so guilty of chucking God aside and manipulating His Generosity when the hour calls for it.

THE BIGGEST AND PROBABLY THE MOST IMPORTANT LESSON I"VE LEARNT FROM EXPERIENCE : it's really impossible for me to be an atheist or leave God out of the picture and only rely on Him to drive me out of trouble only when and where I need Him. It just doesn't work that way;

I was brought up ( by my church in a space of 2 years, I wasn't a Christian from birth ) to believe that we all have a special relationship with God, our Heavenly Father, and like every other relationship, it needs to be carefully built and constantly maintained, just like your relationship with your dad, mom, sis, bro, boyfriend/girlfriend, best friend, etc.

DECISION : Keep a prayer/happiness journal - Come on la, everytime you pray, you 'descargo', release, all your burdens and worries unto God and lay them in His Hands. Though the trouble might stil be there ( or NOT, you never know, after all, never underestimate the power of prayer, seriously 10 words to God can save you 10hours of worry, I can testify ) , you'll feel a sense of relief, calm, peace, and happiness. This queer sort of feeling..I'm not quite sure how to describe it but it's like a wash of cold water that just jerks you out of your anxiety and invigorates you to look at life again more positively. At times, the solutions will seem to just sparkle, so obviously, in that river of calm, and it'll be just impossible for you to miss. Sometimes the answers may not be that easy or simple, and it might take you ages to dig out the 'diamond' answer, however, slowly and surely, the Big Guy up there'd make a loop hole for ya all His Precious Kids !!!

VERSES FOR TODAY :

Romans 5 : 1-8

Verses 6-8 particularly stand out...

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die.

But God demonstrates His own Love for us in this; While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

God, dear God, You really shouldn't have...You're like this gracious host who does everything and anything she can to make her guests feel loved, warmed, and welcomed in her home. You don't owe us anything, OUR debt to You is bigger than the expanse of the universe. You really tak payah do this la, somemore want to die..Gilar la...

No other religion has God like you..no wonder la they rather go for other religion wei..not half as scary as You..too much love can scare people off k..just look at some boy/girl relationships today - sometimes when you love someone too much, you scare them away, they don't dare go near you coz they feel suffocated by your love... -

Oh yea ho..true true..so that's why You leave us alone in the dark sometimes...to make us remember not to take You for granted and in order not to scare us away and indirectly test our love for You. Ai ya, why so mah-fan one you...somemore want to die for us just so that we can go up and live with You ... for what..should just let us die and rot in hell and You retire nice nice up there with golf club and tennis racquets....We go up there will only disturb and mah-fan you...

But thank you ar...For helping and loving us so much...we really no deserve so good...