KIASU REGRET VS REALISM

21st March - 15th July.
How many days are there left for me to enjoy Malaysia ?

There're so many things I've yet to do !!! And so many things I'm procrastinating !!!

The pile of 'kiasu regret' is getting higher and higher and higher and higher.

There're some things that I want to do because I'm 'kiasu', the infamous Malaysian/Singaporean - scared- of -losing- syndrome. I just want to do them so..I've done them, accomplished those things that teenagers do ! For instance, I want to

• check out KL's clubbing scene since I'm FINALLY 18, PARTY ! PARTY! PARTY! Hang out with all my cool mates...;)
• take blogging really seriously and make a really gorgeous blog with loads of gorgeous pictures & photos & write tons of interesting articles,
• go to all the music/local gigs/MPOs/concerts/conventions/performing arts events
• visit all the art exhibitions and watch language/art films,
• do something really meaningful for charity,
• date and fall in love,
• eat all the famous Malaysian street foods ! In small,moderate portions of course..but there're so many many many places that I want to go and eat....I've got a whole book on 'em... Wanna eat roti bom, roti canai, mee kahwin, char kuey teow, rojak, cendol - I'VE NEVER HAD A PLATE OF ALL THESE DISHES TO MYSELF IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, I'm one sad Malaysian eh ?
• meet up with EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FRIENDS before I leave ! Mamak and yum cha and shop and check out all those places that I've always wanted to go to !

But when I look at this list.. some of them are just so unrealistic and..not me.

The realistic things I have to do;

1) Fall in love. With Jesus Christ Superstar again.

2) Clean my room, get it ready for my sis. Get ready for uni - all that official paperwork which I'm so dreading...wtheck I should be packing up my stuff for uni already....But I am clearing up my stuff..gradually...Does anyone want my dance mags ? Maybe I should just donate my dance collection to TDS.

3) *** haha, this is extremely personal **** sew my soft ballet shoes and tights - Major procrastination of 2008

4)DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE WITH MY SPARE TIME APART FROM DANCE AND WORK. - SOMETHING THAT CAN PRODUCE VISIBLE RESULTS.

5) Practise PhotoReading. Omgosh, I still have almost 14 books ( NEW ) that I haven't touched !

6) Write letters.

7) Get me triple turns and split jumps and 'dancer's maturity' and technique UP TO STANDARD. And quit obsessing about class outside of class.

8) Spend time with the people who really matter to me; my family and my very small social circle of Besties.

9)Take a personal risk for charity. Haha, I can't really explain it here, ask me if you really want to know !!! ;)

10) Write essays, brush up my Math & English & comp skills, travel, go for Christian Education classes, participate in arts and music festivals,

11) GET RID OF EYE BAGS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and P.E.C ! and D.B.C !!!

Kiasu regret list and Kinda More Realistic Me List.

Let's just combine both la...can we ? In a space of 4 months ?

TIME TIME TIME TIME TIME TIME TIME

MANAGEMENT.

HELP..GIVE MY STRENGTH.

The Random Things I want / HAVE to DO before I leave

Title says it all.

1) Tone up and get to my ideal weight and at the VERY VERY LEAST LOOK LIKE A PROFESSIONAL DANCER.

2) DANCE LIKE A PROFESSIONAL DANCER - Get my technique and consistency up ! This is like..practically all I ever do/obsess/think/dream about these days..... Triple turns both in Ballet and Jazz, SPLIT SPLIT SPLIT 2metres high GRAND JETE ELANCES and SCISSORS LEAPS..
But aside from that, I want to achieve the maturity of a dancer too - emotionally and mentally. I need to think and relax and truly just dance from the heart and soul. Cannot cannot cannot have a stupid fog/mental barrier/blackout/blurout/panic attack. " CANNOT." - oh so celeste....

eh, sorry sorry, this post is supposed to be about the RANDOM things I want/have to do before I leave, not about the goals I'm working towards. That's another blog post.

Aiyah..salah salah ...Never mind, I shall just continue writing. So what if terkeluar tajuk ( or whatever they used to say to us in high school when we wrote about a different subject from the essay topic given ). This IS MY BLOG after all. A record of my thoughts and all the 2320930293 different voices/personalities in my head.

So to retitle this post : My 2 main goals before I fly off on the 15th of July. - *** yuck, how uninspiring.....steph, what happened to your creative juices? dried up along with your tears last night ? ****