Deluxe

( Haha, if you're reading this, Celeste/Tilla, thanks for being a source of inspiration for this post)

I'm thinking of changing my blog's name to www.DANCEDELUXE.blogspot.com. What do you think ???

Deluxe, deluxe, deluxe...it's such a nice word ! Catchy, simple, yet powerful ! And oh so trendy !
Who coined it ????

Actually, it's a French word ! Deluxe has its origins from Paris ! De luxe means luxurious or very fine in quality.

I must dance deluxe then !!!

Professional Dance Class - Ballet with Mr Zhou.

Amazing God/hot guy. Which would you pick ?

Listening to ' Forever' by Hillsong, courtesy of Daniel Quah, the generous soul who loaned me his cds....

Aside from the yes/no dilemma I'm having now, dance life is going great ! In fact, I'm going to enlighten you guys on PDC Ballet class, the one conducted by Mr Zhou and Ellie Lai, the famous husband-and-wife ballet dancers, and the BEST BALLET CLASS IN THE WHOLE OF MALAYSIA. I've yet to meet such great teachers. You know what...I've been dancing since I was 5, but it feels like I've only REALLY started DANCE after I met

1) Celeste Theunissen - my fearsome Jazz guru..and the whole C.S.o.P.A gang...
2) Ms Ellie and Zhou Lao Shi - my inspiring, encouraging ballet teachers, and the whole E.Z.o.P.A gang

TODAY'S PDC CLASS

Will keep this short and sweet for all you dance noobs ! Lol, if you don't know how to dance - that's okay. If you don't know how to LOVE dance and life - that's sad. ;)

There were a lot of people today. I was asked to demonstrate glise at the barre - temporarily spaced out ! Gosh, I must have looked like such a fool...and I didn't demonstrate very clearly either so Lao Shi asked me to demonstrate it again..So much for my plans to excel in PDC and prove myself worthy of this class. But I came early today - actually I'm ALWAYS early, I HATE, LOATHE, DETEST, DESPISE being late for classes. Being punctual is not good enough sometimes, you have to come PREPARED, physically, mentally, and attitude wise too! - and Lao Shi CAUGHT me alone in the smaller studio, doing my warmups..to 'Voice of Truth' by Casting Crowns.

Hen embarrassing already...tambah with the glise incident...sigh....

Redeemed myself in the exercises after ! - STEPH, COME PREPARED LOL..DON"T DAYDREAM IN THE CLASS AND WATCH WATCH WATCH OTHERS SAMPAI LUPA SENDIRI PUNYA KAKI -

Lao Shi corrected me quite a number of times today, wonderful ! I'd never thought I'd say this, but I really like it when he pinpoints my mistakes and corrects me, when he goes near my feet and helps me push them ( albeit forcefully ) to a perfect 5th sandwich position, looks at me with this teasing, knowing smile, as if we're sharing a private joke ( which if we are, what is the joke ? ) and especially when he goes all philosophical and talks about the beauty of dance, in an abstract yet practical Chinese logic.

Like today, in the plies, he told us to feel ' beautiful', to go further, and really feel it. In the tendus, he told us to 'dance' and 'feel music', lift up more, and turn out. Gosh, he emphasizes so much on turn out..I was damn stressed on it today ! He specifically told me to relax my shoulders. I felt the tension melt away. He also stressed on the extension, especially in the frappe, he said we could all extend the toe more.

AND IT WAS SO TRUE ! THE MINUTE I STARTED POINTING THE ENDS OF MY FEET HARDER ( because sometimes I concentrate too much on my turnout/thighs and neglect me pinky toezzies ) , MY FOOT/LEG LINE JUST CHANGED ! THE WHOLE SHAPE OF MY LEG CHANGED TO BECOME THINNER AND LONGER !!! AND I DID SO WELL IN ADAGE TODAY !!! TOTALLY FELT THE STRETCH !!! I really understand ' extention' now !

He stressed again on the placing of the pointed feet in frappe when in degage ouvette. - Yes yes I must be more careful.

Rond de jambe - again more extention ! " Go high and longer, never stop!" Gosh, Lao Shi is never tired of saying the same thing all over again...

Adage - he made us stretch beforehand. I was already feeling awfully stretchy thanks to cardio earlier - try dodging cars in the morning rush hour. It burns calories real fast ...-

He really really wanted HIGH, LONG, TURNOUT legs. Everything had to be EXTRA Long, EXTRA backbendy, EXTRA extention and lengthen, EXTRA holding the leg in a crazy 160 degree position, EXTRA long long long loooonnggg penche...

But I haven't felt this good in adage in a long time. It's really strengthening. And it showed me how capable I really was, of achieving all his ' commandments ' ! I can..actually do it..compared to the first time I came/was wowed by PDC...

Grande battlement - I must have redeemed myself well in the adage and pleased him, because I was asked to demonstrate this. He reminded us to just G. B picke the leg, not the entire hip socket/body like a belly dancer and have lighter legs too. And he posed us a question - why is it that when our legs are thrown up high in the air, they don't appear long ? They should be long ( meaning extended FULLY ) then high ( meaning THROWN UP MAXIMUMLY ) "Always one or the other sigh..."

Those was one of the lighter moments in class, Lao Shi doesn't really crack jokes, but when he does, they're...not too bad. Really. Just not that all funny, when one's tired herself at the warmup exercises, trying to achieve his ideals.

And then, when we were stretching/relaxing after the strenuous barre work ( ONE HOUR !!! ), he talked about me ! In front of the whole class..said something in Mandarin which I HAVE NO IDEA what ( I REALLY HAVE TO LEARN MANDARIN...I":M THE ONLY ONE IN THE CLASS WHO POOZETAU !!! wthe..). But apparently he was talking about how he found me stretching earlier in the morning..I think he was pleased...and he said I've 'JING PU '. -THIS I def know..WOO HOO !!!

And then, he had me demonstrate the centre Port De Bra. YAYZERS !!! I MANAGED THE BALANCE - Double R.d.j en lair on DEMI POINTE and TRIPLE PIRROUTTES ON MY RIGHT SIDE @ LEFT LEG !!!

But somehow I couldn't recreate the triples for him in the pirroutte exercise..WHY ??? Because I didn't bring in my 2nd arm..I left my shouder 'hanging out there'. Only realized it AFTER I left class. But I was so exhausted by then. I need sleep ! And cake does NOT help in stablizing my blood sugar !

But I did well in the Adage. I had really HIGH, almost 165 degree legs ! And my legs were so stretched, long, thin, TURNED OUT !!! But my arms could have been better and more expressive...

Celeste said today ( at jazz class ) ( to me ) not to be FLUSTERED { and get all hot and bothered } when it comes to turns. I can turn. And I'm turning well. I just need to control it, and practise more for consistency.

WOO HOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TRIPLE !!!! I WAS SMILING LIKE A GIGANORMOUS IDIOT WHEN I ACCOMPLISHED THAT !!!! The strangest thing was, I wasn't even THINKING of attempting a triple. It just..came..I think Annie'd relate to that..I saw her smile in the same way. I'm so proud of myself for the centre PDB. But I think I can, and I WILL DO BETTER.

Will BLOG about Jazz class tomorrow !

DANCE DISTRACTION

Sorry if I sound like a mad, dance-obssessed person..which I am, but I'm slowly getting defocused..the motivation is chipping off slightly, and I need to get it back. I have to rotate myself back on track, cannot lose focus over a guy.

Now, WHAT GUY and WHO ???

That's for me to forget and you to never know.

But it's safe to say that as a dancer, one should not get distracted by the momentary things of life. Like boys.

He is so so so so so so so so cute......so my type la.......
BUT CANNOT ! Have to stop thinking of him, at this point of time in my life, I don't have the emotional maturity or ability to concentrate on so many important things at once !

I have too many things to do, and simply no time to commit to a relationship. I've t0 spend time and commit to God, my family, my Passion, my friends - hello people, yes I love you and no matter what,I'm always there for you, my work - this is a bit susah but still necessary, and my personal development. Not to mention, my personal farewell to-do list...

Gila la aku......
We haven't even started dating..and already I'm thinking of whether to commit into a relationship or not ! Gosh Steph leee..............

I think I'm just temporarily attracted to him. It's not going to last. But the other important things in my life will. That's why, I'm gonna stick to my guns, CONCENTRATE and DO WELL. Guys, I can slot in some other time in my life. Youth and energy and passion and focus and opportunities only come once, I have to maximise and reap the full benefit !

what the heck am i crapping i need sleep...........

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DANCE ENTRY

Saturday, 1st of March.

I only practised pointe today after a grueling 2 hours of Pilates class before rushing off for ** what else, my life only consists of dance,family, work,church, volunteer duties,friends**

And I only did like maybe 15 mins in all ! I was just so..unmotivated ! And I took too long a break ! Cannot Steph Lee, CANNOT. Just go put on your pointies after you finish Pilates class. Just get it done. Pull yourself together and PRACTISE ! You love pirrouttes remember ? The clean, swipe, whoosh, lift in the air as you effortlessly spin, strong and growing leaner and leaner on one leg, in a perfect position and balance, and the beautiful, tight, neat, tidy finish of a good, held, musical Pirroutte..

Yes Stephie, you love pirrouttes ! They are actually spelled with just one letter 'R' but because everyone I know seems to emphasis on the purr, so it has always sounded like a PIRR-outte to me...

( and actually, come to think of it, they DO make that sort of sound when you excute them perfectly and flawlessly ) I

Did

• Pirroutte en dedan - slightly better, but I need to " HUG my muscles - core, arms, legs,- to the MIDLINE ". I need that sensation of stability, and drilling supporting leg right into the floor, core lifting me out of my hips and seperating my waist, whipping the head " ONE TWO " and perfect sandwiched 5th finish. Must stay up and drill down stronger! MUST GET THE DOUBLE ! DON"T LET GO OF THE WORKING LEG, KEEP IT TURNOUT AND PLACE IT PROPERLY TO FINISH !!!

• Pose pirrouttes - COORDINATION ! For the left side, think of bringing shoulder ONTO hip while opening the first arm, so the points on the straight line are TOE-HIP-SHOULDER, then bring the 2nd arm quickly to close/hug and the shoulder to push( MOMENTUM ) to give you a better double pose pirr ! On the left side, the FIRST arm has to open wider k ? Think of turning the belly button to face the direction that you're going, to give you a better sense/line of direction. Arms aren't too high for the left side - bottom rib level will do. DON"T USE TOO MUCH FORCE..AND DON"T USE TOO LITTLE EITHER !!! Chaines are the same concept, just have to think of the shoulders and arms opening, the legs stay hugging the midline tight in first position ! Turn like a TORNEDO !

Pilates was better...I need to think about

1. MUSCULAR ENERGY
2. NOT JAMMING MY BACK, but USING MY OBLIQUES TO TILT THE PELVIC BONE UP TO MY HIPS
3. RIBCAGE TO BACK CONNECTION
4. The POWERHOUSE. Pelvic floor - Zip up and lift, Transversus - In and Down, like a corset. Obliques - Shortening and lenghtening to connect with rib cage. BREAK THE RIB CAGE to STRETCH THE BACK !!!
5. The Elephant exercise and push up variation
6. Spine roll down..sigh...high C curve..

Friday, 29th of February

Practised Jazz today with Tilla.

• Jumps : Split leaps on the left side need to be FRONTWARDS, don't leave the back leg hanging out in seconde (like a dog pissing, Celeste's infamous words ). Scissors can be better and more spilt-ish...POINT THE BACK LEG !!!
• Yen Shan's routine : NEEDS WORK.
• Samantha's routine : Needs energy at the RIGHT places. Needs more PRACTICE. Needs BETTER HIP HOP STYLE AND SLIGHT ENERGY FOR THE 'SHARPNESS', the hip hop quality.. Needs bigger jumps ( Think of yourself as an athlete while preparing for this routine, says Celeste ) This is really turning out to be my favourite routine !
• Wendy's routine : Remember that step cha cha forward ? Think of hips move back and front, really 'soft' and ' loose' feeling in the hips, kinda like a belly dancer. And remember, BE SEDUCTIVE, not sweety pie pie...Gosh, I need the maturity to carry this piece off..and flawless turns...

Thursday, 28th of February

Went for PDC and Ms Adeline's class.

PDC was good, I was slightly better, ALMOST DID THE TRIPLE !!! WHY ??? IT CAME BEFORE...IT CAN AND MUST COME AGAIN !!! But I did a gorgeous double attitude pirroutte en dedan ! I looked at myself in the mirror while doing it and it seemed..perfect..the thigh was at 90degrees..the arms were held..body was upright..leg was strong, drilled, and pulled up...ASTONISHMENT...if only Zhou Lao Shi saw it..

I didn't prac Ms Adeline's work..patutla agak teruk today in class - in my opinion.

She was STRESSING on

1. Turnout discipline and foot line during the barre exercises
2. My horrible SICKLED retire position. Steph Lee, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET IT RIGHT ?
3. A high demi pointe and controlled fouette turn at the barre
4. GLISSES - especially en cloche and in 2nd
5. Grand Battements - picke ( this was in PDC..)
6. My arm position.........adoi......kena marah teruk......is it my back ???
7. Drilling pirrouttes for the Centre Port De Bra and the Pirr. Ex ....yes yes yes
8. The balance for the first Pose Arabesque
9. Jumps - Glissade derriere, jete derriere temps leve with arm gestures TWICE, jete ecarte, jete devant croix, pas de bourree, entrechat...I think...
10. Jumps must be quicker, absorb them FASTER !!! And do them well the FIRST TIME !!! MARK IT PROPERLY AND COUNT !!!

I think this is all I can type for now......stomach growlling la......and i've Church in .......7 hours.....sleep come envelope me in your arms.....................

I"M GOING TO PRAC DANCE ON SUNDAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know I sound as if I've no life except dance, work, and classes...but really, I really have no so-called life apart from it.

And as taxing as it is, I LOVE IT.

* DISCLAIMER : this writer is not an expert on anatomy.she is just describing to herself how the dance step should feel. this description should NOT, in any circumstances, be taken literally.

Ok la ok la...

Okay okay, I have to write down everything here, if not, these wonderful memories, along with its ancestors before this, will fade away and become but a distant, hazy, fussy, infomercial.

I shall split them into topics, for the benefit of friendly reading !

DANCE

I've been so demotivated recently but I'm trying to get back on track. It's just that, I HAVEN"T GOT MY TRIPLE PIRROUTTES YET !!!! I"M ALMOST THERE !!! I CAN ALMOST TASTE THEM...Fudge..and triple fudge....And I need my triples so I can get my doubles on pointe ! I've been practising almost everyday, whenever I've time to spare, in between work & classes & crazy classes (turns)

because I really, really, really, really

WANT TO SHOW LAO SHI AND CELESTE HOW MUCH I"VE IMPROVED !!!!!! GERAMNYA AKU !!!!!!! Okay, I'm gonna prac tomorrow, even though it's a Sunday. Just pirr, adage, petit allegro, and my jazz routines.

Even though it's supposed to be Family Day tomorrow, I think I'll just sneak off after lunch and go to the gym and PRAC PRAC PRAC !!! Because I must !!!

I'm seeing Lao Shi and Celeste on Mon...OH GOSH I HOPE I'M NOT FATTER....I'll just die, literally, if Celeste says I've put on weight......or if Lao Shi berates me for having too much fat on my body......And I will really die if I haven't got any progress to show them...

STEPH LEE MUST NOT MAKE ANY MORE EXCUSES FOR NOT DANCING/PRACTISING. because STEPH LEE HAS NO EXCUSE.

STEPH LEE HAS TO PROGRESS AND GET BETTER. because STEPH LEE LOVES IT WHEN SHE PROGRESSES AND GETS BETTER. STEPH LEE LOVES, HEARTS THE SOARING SENSATION OF SUCCESS AND PRIVATE ACHIEVEMENT!

STEPH LEE MUST GO TO THE UNI OF COLORADO AND EXCEL IN DANCE AND GET INTO INTERWEAVE DANCE COMPANY, LEVEL 3 JAZZ CLASS, AND POINTE AND VARIATION CLASS !!!

Okay, it's getting late, and I need my rest. Night everyone..will blog more tomorrow !

Determination

Today's dance classes were a tad disappointing. I expected myself to do better. In PDC, I didn't ' shine' enough...was just stuck to my own little world, getting distracted by my other oh so beautiful classmates. Didn't push myself enough. I could have done better. And in Ms Adeline's today..I was just in pain ! My knees........Stupid turn out ...and Jean's PY...put too much force and weight on my knees....

Didn't prac dance at the gym either..STUPID PT WANNABES AMBIK MY SPACE !!! I"LL GET YOU BACK FOR IT!!!

Okay, I will go rest now and do better in my own personal practise tomorrow !!!

FATIGUE IS IN THE MIND !!!!

Dance Log

Warning : This is a dance post, about my personal dance & pilates prac and what I've discovered about my own body. Run away while you still can.

Somehow, today's practise was infused with weariness. A weight of sorrow and tiredness damped my spirits but I made myself do just PDC work, because I've class tomorrow and I absolutely NEED to practise before class, otherwise I'll just suck. I need to revise the movement and fire up my muscle memory so that I'll be able to work on improving things tomorrow instead of strategizing ways not to end up looking like a damn fool. AND I HAVE TO PRAC JAZZ SOON..can hear Celeste in the background * shudders * Must improve, and get better, and improve, and get better,

Ok here goes...

Started with a 30min cardio blast. Shins were hurting, heart wasn't beating fast enough to keep up with the machine's pace, blood flow didn't increase rapidly enough for me to look like a nonchalent jogger. But I digress. I still did the necessary cardio to warm up my legs. Inner thighs fired up, but I could tell the rest of body was reluctant to participate in the warm up. Bad body.

Did Pilates to fire up my core muscles. Dancers have to dance from the core, Elynn of all people, helped me to see that. Engkau buta la Steph.

By order of the exercises : Spinal roll down, Ball hip release, Shoulder protraction and retraction, ab prep on ball, 100's, single leg stretch, oblique twist, double leg stretch, ab pulses, a Teaser variation, side abs with ball, push ups, stretching...

Seemed a lot more when I was doing it.Why does listing things down make them look less significant ? Nevertheless, proceed.

PDC Ballet - Did 5 barre exercises.

1. Plies - smoother transistion, find your ab connection & inner thigh muscles & WORK YOUR TURNOUT fr here. Be careful of the arm position in 2nd, lift palms up okay ?
2. Tendu - 5ths !!! And you have to use the metatarsal !!! The ronde has to feel like a sail, growing 150% longer ! Extention, Push, Pull, Turnout, Ab connection, CORE
3. Glisse - the fast glisse in 2nd position has to be faster ! 1 + 2!, 3 + 4! Don't forget the coupe position during the petit develope, very important to be clean and clear in demonstrating every movement.
4. Rond De Jambe - By this time, my back was aching..and this ex has a balance in it. The Rond de jambe Jete was not inspiring enough Steph, you can ronde and throw it even higher ! Pull it out of the hip socket !!! And don't forget, a rond de jambe must work the turn out EVENLY on both legs !!! Supporting leg hang on there and ram strongly into the ground ! The balance ! Think of the core, the rib to hip connection, the inner thigh shadow solid into the ground, both arms and legs must grow in the opposite direction !!! HOLD the balance for 3 counts at least !!!
5. Adage - my back was hurting so badly by this time. But my penche in this ex was much better. Must think of Zhou Lao Shi screaming ' LONGER , then HIGH ' . Fondu's were surprisingly very fine too, must be all the fire in the inner thighs. But the fondu devant on rise must be higher ( working leg, at least 150 degrees ) and stronger/straighter ( supporting leg, pull up your saggy knee cap la ! ) Don't forget the turnout in BOTH legs, NO TIME FOR NEGLECTING , when you melt the leg in.. And your fouette was pathetic, Steph. Mana ada orang henti in the middle of the ex, just to catch her breath ? And this is adage, already you are tired. How are you gonna last the class ? * K Steph, stop berating yourself ala Celeste, and go sleep early tonight. And overdose yourself on chocs * EXTENSION !!!!!!!! MELT !!!!!!!!!!! ARMS !!!!!!!!!!!! POSITION !!!!!!!! LENGTH OF THE PENCHE AND STILLNESS OF THE FOUETTE !!!!!

Did the 3 centre exercises - Port De Bra, Pirr, and finished practise of with the Amen Adage ( I like to call it that because in the middle of this particular exercise, during the pivot in arabesque, the songs sings AHHHHH and I always sing MENNNN silently to compliment it because after that LENGTHENING pivot, we need to do a long penche in a torture worthy set of 8 counts...I need to say my prayers for that kan?

Port De Bra - STIFF !!! Yo, why does it look so awkward and constipated...keep it looking natural, lengthen, and whip that double pirroutte into shape ! Keep the arm position, wind beneath your armpits - haha, where did I get that from ??? - Feel like pushing the water away, going UP UP UP and finishing in a perfect closed 5th..ah, the taste of pirrouttes. I'm so hooked up / fixated / OBSESSED with getting perfect doubles. I CRAVE triples........

Pirr - HAVE TO PRACTISE THIS !!!! Remember Ms Adeline's tips about the arm position and shoulders and the core !!! and remember how a really good one feels like ! PRACTISE !!! DON"T GET DISTRACTED BY THE STUPID PEOPLE WHO WALK PAST AND STARE !!!

Adage - I nearly wanted to pass on this, but I couldn't. Okay Steph, be careful of your elbow, the shoulders square-ish but the upper back turns to create that aplomb line ! Remember to have the " long line " when you pass the leg fr devant to derriere, Extend till the muscle fibres pull the bone, NEAT and CONTROLLED balance and Pas de bourree,ATTITUDE PIRR !!! , and that double ronde de jambe thing on 1 leg - QUICK CONTROL !!!.

Penche's are pretty easy really, just remember to extend the leg higher and higher to PUSH / TILT the body forward - which is the exact translation of penche actually, penche means to lean/tilt no ? - Recovering from one takes a LOT OF CORE WORK !!!. Ecarte side developpe must be higher, OFF AXIS !!! And that rombasse - push off into releve and arch the back, make it look like a real circular movement, don't cheat!!! Gather the flowers and swish the rond !!

Fine finesse and you've clinched it ! Remember, Zhou Lao Shi wants more "fine feeling' from you. Be subtle and powerful. Ballet is internal.

GO TO BED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SLEEP !!!!!!!!!!!!

Tomorrow's another hectic day. People please pray for my sis too, she got a food allergy. I just received the news. Wish I was home more often. But really, it's my fault.

* Jon Fam..you can be a real puzzle sometimes. *

1st Jazz Class of The Year

http://break-a-leg.blogspot.com/2005/01/d-november-24-2004-history-of-jazz.html





MY TEACHER'S LISTED ON THIS WEBSITE ! READ THIS TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE HISTORY OF JAZZ DANCE IN MALAYSIA ! EVERYONE ( in Malaysia's jazz scene ) SHOULD KNOW ALL THESE NAMES !





Ok, anyway, that's a nice introduction to my teacher, Celeste Theunissen. I wrote an essay about her and even made her a metaphor once upon a time, when I find that essay, I might post it up here. ( haha )





Okay, but this post is about my 1st and 2nd Jazz class of the year. And by the way, yes I got sworn at..dang...and lots and lots of bad bad comments/yellings/screamings/annoyed looks..and yes it was pretty horrible and yes I broke down..





But it was awesome to see her again and go for class and especially POST-class...Pre class is nerve wreaking, class can be a nightmare, post class is really the only thing I look forward to.





So, a post by post analysis of my performance in class last Mon and Tue. Celeste's comments are in blue ( Celestar Blue ) and mine are in orange, a happy, positive, colour ...

Sook Fun and I, during our Celestar Graduation...JAZZzzz..... those happy moments...


Jazz

1. Warmup - RELAX YOUR HEAD & NECK, IT'S A BODY RIPPLE, BEND YOUR KNEES, GO RIGHT DOWN AND UP, DON"T BE SO STIFF,TOES OVER KNEE, TWIST YOUR SHOULDERS WHEN DOING THE QUAD STRETCH, Remember it's -AND- 1, breath!!!, and for goodness sake, sleep at least 7 hours before class...



2. Plies - wider 2nd arms, it's a side bend, LIFT YOUR CHIN, why arn't you getting any better ?!!?, relax, 5th arms



3. Tendu - CLOSE FRONT, TURN OUT, DON"T CRAMP YOUR TOES, WHY CAN"T YOU REMEMBER WHAT I TELL YOU ?!!!,



4. Rond de jambe -EXPRESSION, EYES FOLLOW THE HANDS !, remember the reverse arms,



5. Kicks - WHY IS YOUR BUTT HANGING OUT!!!, STRAIGHTEN YOUR SUPPORTING LEG, POINT, JAZZ STRUTS, she changed the counts, it's so much easier now, dang!..struggling for nothing, my off axis kick still looks like crap...



6. Adagio - YOUR LEG ISN"T HIGH ENOUGH, WHY CAN"T YOU REMEMBER YOUR STEPS, HOLD ON THE POSE, LIE FLAT ON YOUR BACK, CLOSE YOUR LEGS, Try not to count..just relaxxx, expression,

Now we come to my 'fav', Aerobic Spatial exercises. Woo hoo...

My stupid Split Leaps which I've been practising as often as I can, turned out to be wrong. I practised them wrongly. Shoot....I was supposed to use my back leg to spring up and create the split ! Use the power of the back leg !!! And what was I doing ? Totally ignoring my back upper thigh !

Routine !!! HIP HOP !!! WHERE'S YOUR STYLE ???? #$*)#(*$#)($*#()$*#*$#)($*#

I wrote down most of her other comments already in my dance diary...some things are just too personal...Perhaps some of you think I'm obssessing about jazz right now, but seriously, dance is my life.

I'd never stop dancing, even if I get injured or become too old to dance - highly unlikely thanks to all you amazing future doctors and insurance agents and economists and accountants and public servants ( HAHA... ;P couldn't resist lol )

Dancing is the most amazing feeling in the world. It's an electric sensation we dancers LIVE and STRIVE for; when your muscles move in time with the music, and your head doesn't have to count the beat,remember steps, or figure out the technique, when there's absolute concentration in the movement, the beauty of dance shines through.

I seriously believe that one can only dance properly and express oneself with all freedom once technique has been mastered to the fullest extent and the body sharpened to the fittest condition possible. Technique is only the beginning, it doesn't dictate the inner dancer in you.

I actually set out to be a ballet dancer at first but perhaps I was being too narrow-minded. Dancers have to be versatile. But Ballet will always be my first love. People dance Ballet for themselves, not for the money, attention, or calories. Frankly, Ballet doesn't pay as much as it should, doesn't get enough appreciation as it could, and certainly does not BURN AS MANY CALORIES AS YOU THINK - therefore not all ballet dancers are slim - HA.

But Ballet is Internal. Jazz, on the other hand, is external. Jazz dancers seem to feed off from the crowd energy. Jazz is all about energy, excitement, style. Jazz dancers are paid A LOT better -I'm taking this from an actual survey !

I'm starting to really like Jazz. It's fun, albeit tiring, and extremely different. One has to have extreme energy and zeal to learn the proper type of Jazz, not the stupid hip hop cum funk cum cheerleader movements people in Malaysia like to pass off as jazz. Please, give it some credit. Jazz is technical as well, it's not just all about style and Pussycatdolls - I hate this stereotype people have of Jazz, a lot of you think it's all so easy but it's NOT. It's every bit as hard as Ballet.

Iniitally I took Jazz because of ( frankly, in all honesty..Celeste..if you've seen her, you'll know what I mean..) I wanted to learn something new, to improve in my Ballet, and most of all, to discover how to dance. I have to credit Jazz for building me up technically and helping me in my struggle with Ballet.

Along the way, I discovered what Ballet/Dance really meant; Passion. I tell you, it takes a LOT for a person to go to dance class, practise technique AND memorise steps, take exams, and get scolded and scolded by dance teachers. To me, dancers are the only people who need to strive so hard for PERFECTION - they need perfect bodies, perfect technique, perfect knowledge of steps, perfect expression, perfect work ethtics ( Dancers can't get pregnant, drink, take drugs, or smoke, it affects their dancing terribly. They also have to be able to work effectively within a time constraint, incredibly disciplined, hardworking, punctual, self motivated, creative, multi able, and trustworthy. See, doesn't this sound like the perfect employee ? )and a perfect mental attitude.

See ? It's not easy to be a real dancer.

So, why do I dance ?

I dance Ballet to please myself,

to satisfy the inner Aurora/Juliet/Kitri/Giselle in me,

to taste bits of the ' fine de kan chuaeh ( meaning the fine feeling, according to Zhou Lao Shi ) ' here and there,

to express myself in the hauntingly beautiful movements of the adages

to sparkle in the quick, sharp, lively movements of the feet in the petit allegro and batterie,

to fly and SOAR in the grand movements of the grand allegro jumps,

to touch in the solos,principal,and character roles.

There is nothing more beautiful than Ballet. I challenge you.

I dance Jazz to taste the excitement of the crowd,

to strengthen and improve myself as a dancer,

to release my pent up energy and emotions,

to thrill, to stun, to electrify, to shine,

to dazzle, to amaze, to entertain,

to satisfy my inner Diva.

There is nothing more exciting and entertaining than Jazz. I challenge you.

Gosh ! I feel so much better now ! Yay, wish me luck for my Jazz exam next Monday, everyone ! I haven't been blogging lately because I've been too stressed with work and dance. But thanks for reading this post. And I hope to have enlightened and given you insight into the MAJESTY of DANCE.

Whatever makes us happy.

My sis, aunt, uncle, darling cousin Tim, and I.

Occupying My Day While Waiting For Bedtime

Mattress baby cuddled me deeper and deeper, my blankets didn't help by wrapping me so tightly with their love and warmth. On the other side of my bed, my soft, candy-cottony fluffers begged to pillow and cushion my head/ass - they're interchangable and alike to all the occupents of my bed. I refused to slide out of bed and obey Mom aka P.A.C ( Personal Alarm Clock )

But I did, in the end, and this is a short summary of what I did to pass the time before I could go make love with my sheets again.

1) PDC. I so heart Zhou Lao Shi !!! He said so many enlightening things ( per usual ) and really really brings the whole philosophy of ballet in such a practical down to earth manner ; Be clean in your movement, position, and feelings.

" Classical Ballet is so easy, it's just 5th's,push,pull,turnout, and extension ! Move with the music ! "

No wonder Ms Ellie fell for him..I would too if he were 25 years younger and 25% better at English...I pity ballet students who've never gotten a chance to take class with this wonderful teacher. Granted, he doesn't really notice me most of the time, but today, he commented 3 times about me ! YAY !!! ~~~ yeah I'm a sucker for teacher's praises/comments..it shows I'm a part of the class, wanted and needed.

Right now, I need all the attention I can get, to take my mind off a LOT of headachy things.

2) Personal Dance Prac. - Did jazz - warmed up core by doing lots of twists, warmed up legs by doing lots of hamstring stretches, and practised mostly turns and jumps. Woo hoo ! I felt so light and actually paused up in the air ! Woo hoo !!!!!! My turns were more secure and controlled, my arms held..but I didn't think about my hips today, all that was in mind was : PELVIC FLOOR LIFT and SHOULDER RETRACTION... ( Pilates terms )

3) Read some very interesting articles in the newspaper and I will blog about my opinion about the Lingam case later..Oh, but please read this.

" Let somebody else do it seems to be the accepted notion. There is that popular story about the four people -- Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody goes.

Everybody thought Somebody would do it, Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Well, Somebody was very angry and upset because after all, it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realised that Everybody would not do it. So, Everybody blamed Somebody and Nobody asked Anybody! "

I got this from an article in the NST today by K. P. WARAN: Let's not live with a sea of rubbish. The article is bril. Funny, memorable, and something we can all totally relate to. GO READ GO READ GO READ......

4) Taught class at Kelly's. The kids are a joyous burden. You totally rock Kelly, my no 1 supporter !!!

5) ADVANCE BIRTHDAY LUNCH !!! Woo hoo !!!! Yayzers...muakxx muakxx muakxx donnedd@hotmail.com...

6) The mere fact that I'm alive and have such a great God who looks after me, fab Mom who takes care of all my earthly needs, darling sis and many many dear friends who care and listen and support, a passion for dance which helps me to stay focused..

7) I've just discovered text colour. Yay Peako, I can rival you now ! Woo hoo !!!!!

8) This guy at the gym thinks I'm fit enough to join some Contender contest for gym bunnies/worshipers..: HAHAHAHAHAHA, first of all, ME, FIT ? * looks at her lumps of fat and prodding stomach and rolls eyes, moving them on to her massive thighs and arms next, then shakes her head sorely *

Gila. Even if I was super muscular and have not even an inch of fat on my body, why I would want to join that insane competition to show off my physical abilites ? I'd be showcasing my physical limitations rather...and a lot of skin..and obviously, a lot fo flab as well.

But it was a really sweet compliment...I kinda have a semi crush on him now..which will wear out by tomorrow - which is now already today because it's past 12 midnight already.

I can't stop thinking bout you...

~ Thanks, Aunty Sylvia and Cheng Lee for being so nice to me at Life Chapel, though I was probably a bore and a chore to entertain.. ;)

BACK TO MY BED !!!!!!!!!!
We're gonna make beautiful music all night..till 5.45 am because I've to get up for work.

For You ( ahhh so zhou lao shi..)

A tribute to Ming Ni before she leaves..never mind...one month will pass soon..
' time goes by..so slowly,every little thing that you say or do.. '




If there was one person I could pinpoint as the embodiment of a dedicated dancer, she would be Tan Ming Ni, one of the warmest, funniest, and most generous people I’ve ever met. From the time we crossed paths at the Ellie Zhou Ballet Studio - me, a greenhorn at ballet, she, an aspiring professional ballerina, 2 years my senior -, she has never ceased to amaze me with her ambitious drive, determined spirit, and approachable demeanor. I’d call her at any time, any where, and she would be ready to offer kind words of sympathy, solid, sisterly, advice, and firm moral support.

Who am I ? I’m 18 year-old Stephanie Lee Su-Ling, a recipient of a dance and journalism scholarship, currently pursuing the Professional Dance Course under Mr Zhou Gui Xin and the Celestar Jazz Dance Syllabus under the tutelage of Celeste Theunissen, Come September, I will be a freshman,a dance and journalism major.

I would have never dared to pursue this exciting yet emotionally turbulent course ( dance and journalism ) if it weren’t partly for the encouragement from Ming Ni. She doesn’t have to speak or write of her passion for dance; it radiates from her soul. Not only is she famed for her expressiveness, she is also well known as a self motivated and hardworking dancer. Her persistence with her pirrouttes paid off enormously when she showcased exceptional control and mastery of fouettes on pointe on stage; many marveled at her solo performance as the ‘Topaz Princess ‘ at the Slave Princess Ballet held recently in Kuala Lumpur, by the national Dance Society of Malaysia. The same girl who never backs down from a chance to perform and delight audiences also relentlessly pushes herself to the maximum; while juggling performing opportunities, teaching responsibilities, and grueling ballet technique classes, she has also found the time to take up Leadership and Pilates Instructor courses to improve herself physically and mentally.

A girl of many contradictions; she can forgo meals, socializing, and personal luxuries, but would never pass up the chance to get the latest dance magazines, dance books, autobiographies of famous dancers, and good quality dance gear ( all extremely costly at where we live ) A girl who focuses so well in class ; her sharp and accurate memory of ballet classwork and new exercises ( which are changed monthly at our studio, in order to stimulate and accelerate the learning curve ) often amaze me. A girl who’s charm, grace, and beauty could dazzle ( given more performing opportunities, who knows when her meteoric rise to fame will end ! ) even the most reluctant and primitive of dance enthusiasts. A girl who is compassionate and empathetic of the people around her, who’d never look down on the downtrodden or less talented, risking herself to help even the most anonymous of strangers. I remember clearly how she first extended her friendship to me when I took over her role in Don Quixote after she was promoted to a soloist in that particular ballet. Courteous, respectful, and gentle, she propped our teacher’s prestige when she participated and won in the National Dance competition in 2005.




Perhaps the biggest lesson she has taught me is how to cherish the subtlety, the ‘ zen ‘, still, quiet beauty of ballet. To her, ballet is all about the purity of the line and the simplicity yet breathtaking movement. I for one, admire her deeply for being able to express herself in the freedom of the music, showcase her personality on stage, and extend her joy of dance to everyone within a 10 mile radius. Her distinct style is reflected most strongly in the adagio – her interpretation original and exquisite, carried out most gracefully by her elegant arms, lanky legs, expressive torso, and dramatic toes. No matter what type of dance – jazz, modern, tap, ethnic, contemporary, classical, cultural/ traditional – I know she will succeed in making the dance her own, given her tendency to research extensively and practice dedicatedly.

This P.D.C ( {Professional Dance Course } graduate is one we are all proud of. I am confident that given more performing opportunities, Ming Ni will continue to shine on stage. Her resourcefulness, persistence, patience, and perseverance will take her through, come what may. Our ‘marshmallow’ may be soft on the outside, but she’s tough on the inside, and I daresay, nothing can possibly faze or stop her from achieving her goals and dreams.

Once again, I vouch my absolute confidence in Tan Ming Ni ; as a fellow dancer, classmate, senior, older sister, and friend.




Hope you like this !

COMPETITION

Why does life always seem like such a competition all of a sudden ?

Mother K ( K for her name and also for KIASU ) came up to me and asked me about her daughter's progress in class. Actually, all she really wanted to know was whether her daughter had the potential to become a dancer, and if so, was she getting too fat ? Her concerns mainly centred around her daughter's size, eating habits, and physical activity, and they all could be summed up in a single questions ( which, incidentally, she kept repeating during our 40minute chat ), " Is my daughter too big ? I don't want her to get fat, otherwise she won't be the thinnest girl in your class "

I felt like screaming, or throwing something, stabbing a cow, butchering a horse or even just slamming the door and walking off in a huff would have made me feel loads better. Instead, I 'smiled ' a 'sympathetic' teacher type of smile, and just offered a very weak excuse for leaving [ and running away from her as far as I possibly can ]

WHAT THE HELL.

What's the deal with all this competition ? Give her a break ! Why does your daughter have to be so super thin for ? Why does she need to compete with the other girls for ? Why do you have to be so super kiasu with your daughter ? Blar lar k ( this is steph-speak for get lost )

You always want BIGGER discounts when you go shopping, BIGGER salaries, BIGGER houses, BIGGER cars, BIGGER, grander holidays, BIGGER numbers of A's on your child's report card, BIGGER portions of food even when you go out to eat.

So what the heck is wrong if your daughter grows up to become a little bit plumper, more womanly, and curvier ( ultimately sexier than you ha ! ) ? You know what's her problem ? It's actually not the daughter's size, it's really about the daughter's size being an advantage in this so-called competitive world of dance.

To me, dance is only competitive if you make it to be. What do all dancers compete for ? They don't compete against others. They compete against themselves. They want to be the best they possibly can, and it's their own personal achievement and goals. NOT everyone's dance goals are to be the next ABT prima ballerina. And certainly not the world' thinnest ballerina...


Why do we always have to be the best ? Do what you can, and do it to the best of your abilities.

But who am I to talk ? Here I am,busy trying to compete with older and more established bloggers who have better pictures, better style of writing, more interesting topics, more readers & commentors, richer boyfriends ( hell even the existance of one would make me a little envious, just a little ), more disciplined spiritual lives, etc.

- secret confession, yo, give me some respect for admitting your secret desires UPFRONT and some sympathy too for getting sucked up into e-popularity -

but I've come to realise ( thanks to a bitch slap from my sis )
that bloggers blog for themselves.

Who really cares about how your day was, what hurts you , who irritates you, your poems, the love of your life, honestly speaking, would anyone of you care if I don't get into a university of my choice or if I'm a total failure in ballet ?

Do YOU really care about other people or do you just read their blog for cheap entertainment - I mean cheap as in the price of online reading material compared to movie-ing, clubbing, drinking, NOT the quality of a blogger's post, no siree, I ain't offending no fellow blogger - ?

LIFE JUST GOES ON. THE SAME.

To all my silent readers out there, I think you're all gorgeous and simply lovely for taking the time to read about my life. And I'm really gonna try and make everything really readable, because I really wanna share my dance life and ( a bit of ) my personal life with you guys. But, I ain't bloggin to satisfy you.

I'm bloggin to satisfy myself.

I do what I can do best; write and dance. And I'm gonna keep doing my best.
Not to beat you and you and you,
But to beat myself.

~ I am my own worst enemy, Oscar Wilde. ~

Details of Kay Elle that I ABSOLUTELY MUST REMEMBER

I should be in bed right now, I just said g'night to my mom, but somehow I can't sleep. Too many things running on my mind and I need to get her/them/It to shut up.

Procrastinate my sleepiness for a little while longer..

1) Summary of my day

6 am - Woke up at this ungodly hour to go to the GYM
Practised Ballet Adv, mainly because Celeste's gonna teach ballet next Mon
( PANICKING,,, )-

Ballet feels so good...my fondu's actually felt like fondue ! The melting quality was probably enabled after working on my abductors for 60 mins on the machines..Did

plies, tendus, glise, fondu, rond de jambe en lair - I got the 'kick' and extention, YAY ME !, rond de jambe jete - I totally dissected this now ! it's a swish to a small,low attitude,then throw towards the ear/side, then ROUND & extend, then point on the floor in perfect turn out. YES !!!, and petit battement with pirrouttes and balances

Must remember to engage the back muscles by pressing lightly on my shoulders and pulling the two lines down to connect with my hips too.

[ bear with me, darlings who don't take ballet, and take courage ( love this phrase ), will be moving on soon ]

Then I did pointe work. And people started to staring already. Okay, bad enough there's a girl wacking her legs all around and turning on one tippy toe toe, now she's putting on pre-arched torture foot binders made out of satin ( by the world's best pointe shoe maker, Gaynor Minden ! The best pointe shoes I've ever worn, all thanks to Lexa and the PDC girls ! )

Plus my pirrouttes on pointe are not that great, I was falling all over. WHY ? Because I wasn't holding my core properly and couldn't balance. I was scared and I lost concentration when all those people started staring at me. A BAD MALAYSIAN HABIT =(

NEED TO PRAC MORE TOMORROW ! I don't care, I'm just gonna turn and turn and turn and get my DOUBLE PIRR on POINTE !!!

Steph Lee : DO NOT BE AFRAID ! Remember Li Cun Xin - his book's fab btw. The exact position of the nose, arms, back, hips, thighs, knees, toes !!!

11.15am - Went for G's pilates class before work. She's awesome. Her voice is stil echoing in my mind I swear, " slide the ribcage down to the hips, fold the ribs, hug muscles to spine, keep the tail bone on the same line as the hip/pelvis, don't TILT it down, use your abs, we're focusing on the abs, feel the ribs, hips, zip up the pelvic floor to come up, etc "

I'm really lucky to have found such a good Pilates teacher. All dancers should do some sort of body conditioning in my opinion. Can't wait to go Boulder and check out the Pilates centres there - they have one of the BIGGEST PILATES CENTRES in US there ! Awesome...

oh gosh, my uni application's gonna be reviewed any minute now, it's there !!! keep your fingers, toes, and everything else crossed for me please

As usual, work is ...boring. I want to get a colummist job and get paid to write - that's the course I'm taking anyway - or work in Tower Records, all that music ! Can I intern with some company for 6 months before I leave ??? Please ??? Some one teach me how to...

Then I went for my driving lesson. Drove on the highway from 1U to Amcorp Mall and nearly died in the process. I need to practise - all that clutch, gear, brake, oil,... - Me cannot feel me feet no more...that caramel hazelnut latte from Coffee Bean did not help, I'm STICKING TO STARBUCKS FROM NOW ON !!!!!!!!!!

Got back home in my MOM"S CAR ( HOW ON EARTH CAN SHE DRIVE LIKE THAT EVERY DAY ?? )

gave the ticket - thank God I got rid of it,the more I see it, the more tempted I'd be to rip it apart, I listened to Linkin Park's What I've Done and I really feel like hitting myself, WHAT ON EARTH HAVE I DONE !!??? But at the same time, I feel this tremendous satisfaction and peace of mind. I know I did the right thing, giving up my Switchfoot tickets for you two is the best decision I've made this week and I know you'll enjoy it to the max, compared to this noob about Switchfoot girl -.

wrote emails and emails and emails, me and my EMAILS...and read this hilarious article in Cleo that I absolutely agree with


and now..I've forgotten what I wanted to post about...
Ah...my uni applications...

" It's too late to apologize " - Apologize, Timberland
" Love me, Choose Me,..." - Meredith Grey, from Grey's Anatomy

BDJW 2007.

I really miss the dance workshop..3-4 dance classes a day, everyday for 2 glorious weeks in one of the most beautiful universities in US. I just miss all that dancing.

I miss
1) Ken - the best cure for Homesickness, prob Arkansas' most wanted export.




Ken, Jessica, and I, during our student show.




2) Valerie - The perkiest Tap dancer I've ever met and the first Alaskan girl I've ever met too




3) Katie - You were so nice and friendly and sweet and such a darl to us !( the cute girl in the middle)





4) Lauren and Courtney - Jazz ii classmates. I'm so jealous of their legs !





I loved it there, but I'm really glad to be home too.Was so uber homesick on the 2nd week. Sigh, prob the stress of dancing Jessica's choreo solo in the student show didn't help. But they did !


Ken, Valerie, Kathleen, and I


Valerie and Kathleen acting out the ' Crazy Dolls ' routine. The song's awesome !


We were homesick...



Then we met lots and lots of different people but all who shared the same love for dance and the common goal of fun !!!



Then we were happy again !!!


I've at least 400 pictures from my trip, and goodness knows how many friends, and tons of valuable, cherished, bittersweet memories, and all those dancing tips ! The teachers there were truly inspiring; Jessica Hendricks, Alex, Webster, Christy, Lara, and Amanda.

CAN"T WAIT TO GO AGAIN THIS YEAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Adagio Dancer

Nouns mean ' names ' in Latin. Everything has a name. That's why this blog had to have a name and a blog address. That's why I asked several people on what they thought of the names I picked, because it's important for a blog's name to be well balanced; people - accessible ( I'm always thinking of other people ; P ) and yet personal at the same time.

The first ideas

1) descargo.blogspot.com

Descargo means ' release ' in Spanish. I can relate a lot to this because I dance and write to 'release' my feelings, express my thoughts, unburden my soul, and to regain a a certain clarity of life and peace of mind. Tarrant liked it, said it sounded really deep. ( I think...) Which it does, becuase release has many layers of meaning. There's so much depth to just one word, isn't that amazing ? Like the amazing fact that 26 alphabets and millions of millions of words in dozens of different languages. But what a blogger, sorry, BUMMER, someone else took it already.

Sayang kan ?

2) descargodanza.blogspot.com

I had a bit of reservations about this one. Because it doesn't really make sense if you translate it directly to English but the double D's are just so lingustically beautiful, they just roll off your tongue so easily. Definitely people accessible. But a certain person by the initials of M.C.H.Y didn't and said it sounded like escargot. I'm not even mentioning this person's name here because I'm still very offended by that person. Waste of time and evergy and effort asking really.

There are MAJOR differences between descargo and escargot - one's a Spanish term and one's a French term, they both mean completely different things; one's a food and one's a verb, an action word, a word of endless possiblilites and limitless imagination and usage. One's in my favourite language and the other's in the language I loathe the most ( aside from the ballet terms which I've come to terms with.. )

But I didn't pick it because it didn't really sound like me. I don't sound like that,do I ? all breathy and 'danza' and all...? nah, it's not how I sound like at this point of time. Maybe when I become a dance professor in the future, descargodanza will become me ???

Certain words require a certain maturity and personality to be carried off effectively.
So I choose...

3) adagiodancer.blogspot.com

in the end. It's very me. Adagio dancers are ' slow ' dancers ( in literal translation ), the ones who do the slower, more lyrical, pensive dances. The ones who have to " extend, extend, extend " and " lengthen, lengthen, lengthen" and " grow, grow, grow" and " use use use " every second of the music to it's full capacity. The ones I like best, because the strength of a true dancer lies in her/his adagio - their capability to move IN the music, express themselves with all freedom of technique. That's where the artistry of a dancer truly shines. In the adagio.

And I find that adagio dancers tend to be the most expressive and technically brilliant ones.

Those of you who don't go to Mr Zhou's PDC class at Ellie Zhou Ballet Studio might not understand this, but it really doesn't matter, as long as you know that my aim is to be the BEST DANCER I CAN BE, allegro or adagio.

And I still kept descargo ; because to dance and write is to release. To release oneself completely from the burdens and craziness of life; that's freedom.

This writer maintains that true liberation comes from God, because only He can take away all the weariness and replace it with happiness.

But ' why not do a crazy dance ? ' - Hilary Duff, Why Not
Yea, and why not, ( while you're at it ) pen a personal comment ?