Here Comes the Sun

I"M BLOGGING AGAIN !!!

I've set up a new blog, people !!! But it's more private than this one. I've come to realise privacy isn't exactly a bad thing and a lot of things should not be made public.

Anyway, if you wanna visit my new blog, please email or ask me through MSN. My blog's really a personal one, I don't want any Tom, Dick, and Henry reading my blog and commenting and insulting and saying slutty stuff and using the opportunity to stalk/threaten me.

The world is a less safe place these days. Protect yourselves my friends...

Closure.

Hey everyone,

I am closing this blog down for time being. The reason for my doing so is because I'm getting too distracted and procrastinating way too much . I've way too many things to do right now, and keeping a blog is not on my list of priorities.

And I've just realised..I can't really commit to keeping a blog ! I had so many plans ( gosh, sound so naive now ) but I can't afford the time to materialize on them right now. I've too little time to do all the things I want to do. MUST PRIORITIZE..cannot LAZITIZE...I cannot keep making excuses like ' have no time' and all those whatnothaveyou crap.

Besides, I don't want to trash the blog-sphere with my rants and ravings. I'd rather have a blog that sounded different. And mine is just so..mainstream ? it's not like me at all. I don't sound like me here. At least, parts of me don't. And it's really hard to be totally creative online. How to let my creative juices flow when I don't even know how this stupid thing works properly ? I have to discover myself first. Before polluting the universe.

And frankly, the major reason why I want to stop blogging for time being until I've matured & gained more techie skils ?

I want to start writing again.

Forgive if you can, forget you CANNOT. I will def announce the coming up of my 2nd blog soon,

When I've learnt how to do all those cool things in 5 mins flat and become a comp-pro and finished doing my uni stuff and gained triple pirrouttes and become a better daughter,friend, and student, I shall set up my 2nd blog.

And I promise you, that will be 100 and 10 percent better.

The Yang of my Yin Day

1) I made a random search for images of Stephanie Lee and look at what I found ! www.stephanie-lee.blogspot.com Well, she beat me to that name, and Oxford as well. Ain't the world getting smaller ???

2) Got a free lift from Khai Hoong, I was really lucky to bump into you !!! And rediscovered my love of Kipling's poems. I found this just 5 mins ago !!!

Now this is the Law of the Jungle -- as old and as true as the sky;
And the Wolf that shall keep it may prosper, but the Wolf that shall break it must die.
As the creeper that girdles the tree-trunk the Law runneth forward and back --

For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack

From : Law of the Jungle

GORGEOUS !!! Kipling's Jungle Book was one of the first classics I ever attempted, and fell in love with. He wrote pages more of prose and poetry, but I personally prefer his poems. They rhyme, ain't verbose or boring, and make sense.

Anyone out there who also loves poems - they do save your reading time, don' they ? And it'
s so hard to write good poetry. I don't speak for you, but brevity has always been a challenge for me-

should go check out this website www.poetryloverspage.com

They have a good collection of poems by Rudy Kippy too !!!

3) Coming home

Driving Test Results

WHY ?????????????
WHY??????????????????????????
WHY?????????????????????????????????????

God, why didn't I pass such a simple part of the test ? Going uphill is supposedly THE EASIEST.
And I, Stephanie Lee Su-Ling, the so-called brainy one, FAILED it..when every other complete idiot passed.

My only consolation is that I passed the road driving test with 19/20.

But this is just plain embarassing.

And I'm exhibiting my humiliation for everyone else to hear.
As a lesson for myself.

Always pray before attempting to manover the wheel. And going up the hill. And getting into a car for that matter.

This is not an attempt to blame God for not letting me pass the stupid driving test. This is merely a ranting and grouse of all sorts..

But God does do the Yin-Yang thing. He always gives you something good to balance out your bad day. Suffice to say, today wasn't completely wasted.

AND BLAR YOU DRIVING OFFICERS aka COMPLETE IDIOTS FOR WASTING MY TIME WHEN I COULD HAVE PASSED THAT TEST EASY PEASY, I'm still gonna drive anyway,

CHOI !!! BAD LUCK SHOO SHOO !!!
TOUCH WOOD !!! This is so not gonna happen to me, I will not fail a 2nd time. No siree.

Time

1st May
- Trip to the Bukit Cheling waterfall

2nd May
- Trip to the US embassy

3rd May - 7th May
- Trip ( w the Gym Gang ) to the Redang Island

8th May
- Trip to Penang ( Granny's 1st Death Anniversary and Aunty Gaik's visit )

15th May
- Trip to ***** secret destination which is still unknown at this point of time *** to celebrate Mother's Day.

28th May
- Alexa's homecoming.
SO CAN"T WAIT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

30th May - 1st June
- Trip to Penang ( Church Camp )

From boring March, to slippery April, to hectic May, and final June.

My final months in Malaysia..Malaysia...A sense of dread fills me everyday now. I feel as if a time bomb is about to erupt and capult me to US. Time goes by too quickly, I wish I had more time to spend with you.

Testimonial for Celeste about her syllabus. / Personal Fear Statement LOL

Hey everyone, this is a little something I wrote for Celeste a long time ago, early last year if memory does not fail me.I wrote it really fast, I think, in under 1.5 hours, because I had a jazz exam later ( probably Groove..I distinctly remember thinking about a denim skirt as I was writing this ).

I unearthed it a minute ago while I was searching for some old essays. Rereading it makes me feel..so nostalgic...and GLAD THAT I"VE COMPLETED her jazz syllabus up to Jazz 4. At least now, I'm in Jazz 5, it's not too hard and here's where the fun starts. Part of me wants to go back to Introductory and learn the style properly, input it into every fibre of my muscles to serve me subconsiously later. But part of me is so glad I've finished and am done with it. I hated rushing and doing the Intensive course. It did make me improve very very quickly but...at what expense? I would have rather done it gradually like Tilla, so the style grows on you and there's the time factor to help you improve and give you space to practise/perfect/reflect.

I realised last year I was too busy dancing and thinking about exams and rushing and being exhausted and applying/worrying about scholarships, hardly had time to reflect properly on my dancing.

Well, one thing hasn't changed. My respect ( and subsequently fear, like duh, that's never gonna change I think..) for this particular teacher.

Testimonial for Celeste Frances Theunissen.

( eh e h wWAIITTT...do you think she'll mind me putting this up ??? Is this offensive / invading privacy or whatever? Okay, I'll leave it for 1 week..or maybe just a few days first to test the waters..)

I have been a student of Celestar Studio of Performing Arts since March 2005 and currently enrolled in her Jazz Dance syllabus, both Introductory and Higher Levels as well as attending Celeste’s Advanced Level Ballet classes.

I started learning Ballet at the young age of six and was only introduced to Hip Hop in Celeste’s introductory Jazz Dance syllabus in 2005. At first, it was quite hard adapting to Jazz, given my limited dance background. It was not the steps that puzzled me; it was the style, the main element that Celeste stresses on. However, I found that in time, with enough practice, determination, and of course, personal coaching from Celeste, I did very well for my Hip Hop assessment, garnering an A. Not only did I obtain the confidence to pick up another type of dance so totally different from Ballet, but I also improved in my ballet, becoming less rigid and less narrow minded in my view of dance.

Celeste’s Jazz Dance syllabus is different in a sense, because it is structured and developed for a dancer by a dancer. Passion has its place in the syllabus. Also, it stresses on style, personal satisfaction, and enjoyment above technique and precision. I personally find that the technique, while different for every style, is still emphasized, leaving little room for me to get injured and plenty to improve and make the movement my own. Each of the seven styles in Celeste’s Jazz Dance syllabus is distinct and extremely useful knowledge to every aspiring dancer, because one must be versatile, a fact that Celeste has drummed in me and for that, I am extremely grateful. I would say, her syllabus has helped me most in diversifying; becoming a more versatile and stronger dancer with a wider outlook on dance and life.

On an even more personal note, having Celeste as a teacher has been frankly frustrating and yet rewarding, At times, it is really hard to live up to her standards, especially since I was not even properly trained as a ballet dancer. But, at the end of the day, I have learnt that just listening and doing what she says, my body can produce results. I took her advice to learn Jazz in order to improve my Ballet, and now I can see how cross training in dance really has helped me to build stamina, reshape my body, sharpen my mind, and add to my faith that dance can be a rewarding career for me. But, without her, I would not have reached this level of positivism and probably would have attempted to quench my dreams of becoming a dancer. Outside of class, she is fun, kind, and even motherly at times, giving me a lot of advice about how to apply for a ballet dance programme, using the right muscles and proper technique, and enquiring about my progress in Ballet.

Celeste is strict, Celeste is unflinchingly demanding, Celeste is undoubtedly a perfectionist, and Celeste certainly has sky high standards, only because she herself is a beautiful, amazing and inspirational dancer, besides her charisma, practicality, and sensibility. Indeed, Celeste does produce results and her students believe what she says because they have done what she tells them to do and it shows when they do it. She is definitely an unapologetic diamond in the rough; priceless and one of a kind. I am very glad and thankful for her ‘torture’; I know she does it only because she cares for her students and demands only the very best from them. Her labor of love, the Celestar Jazz Dance syllabus basically models her own ambitions for her students; to become the best professional Jazz dancer they can be and more.

Laptop Requirements

What kind of laptop would a dance/journalism student need ?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so NEW at this...I can't believe I'm going off to US and I'll have to do everything by myself there... like update my own Antivirus programmes..and like..clean my computer's hard disk drive and all..shoot..what if my comp gets bugged down by a virus and shuts down ? I'll lose my only source of communication with the outside world ! VOICE 2002 in Stephie's head says : STEPHANIE LEE SU-LING, STOP WORRYING / HYPER VENTRILATING. GET ON WITH THE PROGRAMME. Strangely, I obey. Voice 2002 sounds very much like Mom's voice..and a mixutre of Pn Jugdeep's , Mrs Jeya's, Aunty Wong's, and Celeste's too.

Okay, since I'm a student, I'd be carrying my laptop around, since chivary is dead, I presume no cute guys will be offering to carry it for me anytime round, correct, no ? Magnifique ! We have a start.

Some tips I got from a friend;
Before buying a notebook, make a list of "must have" and "nice-to have" features, so you won't be tempted to buy more features than really need.

Ah ha ! Good good idea !

SLSL's LAPTOP MUST HAVE / BE

1) LIGHT

I'm thinking of an ultra-portable. Wow, the name just rolls off your tongue so nicely ;)

According to an article I ripped off PC World.about.com :

Light Duty on the Go

Thin-and-light notebooks (also called subcompacts and ultraportables) with built-in Ethernet and Wi-Fi networking make ideal second computers for handling business applications such as word processing and spreadsheets, e-mail, and Web surfing when you're on the road.

Pros: At 3 to 5 pounds, thin-and-light notebooks weigh considerably less than other laptops, so they make better traveling companions. Because they're compact, with smaller screens (usually 10.6 to 12.1 inches), they fit more comfortably in a briefcase and on an airplane seat-back tray. Built-in Ethernet and Wi-Fi ( Stephie like... ) lets you make high-speed Internet connections, both wired (in, say, a hotel room) and wireless (at a Starbucks or airport lounge). Ultraportables frequently offer a long battery life of 3 to 5 hours, too.

Cons: Subcompacts rarely offer the fastest processors. Their keyboards can feel cramped, and their small screens make them unsuitable for some applications, such as serious spreadsheet crunching.

Dell, Fujitsu, and IBM each offer thin-and-light models you might want to consider.
Actually I'm very much in love with the VAIO laptop right now...and the I book...they look so cool !!! But they're more like multimedia laptops right ? For people who're into design, and flashy PowerPoint presentation, and want all those sophisticated programmes to Photoshop their pics better ( Haha, joke,joke, no offense intended ) . Not really for this babe. I won't have time to sit around toying with 'em programmes. But yes, I will consider Dell, Fujitsu, and IBM.

2) AFFORDABLE

I think I'll budget for RM 3000, plus minus another 100. I think I have just enough in my savings account to buy meself me own lappie..And I really don't want to use Dad's dough.

I did think of going to US and buying myself a lap top there but...I've so much data ( read : pictures, articles, documents, programmes, dvds, music ) to carry across the Altantic.


I have to burn all my music, documents, essays, programmes, movies maybe even some pages of some of my favourite books,etc into the laptop/ pendrive before I go because I jolly well ain't carrying a truckload of CD's and journals and school documents and pictures of my dog.

Which is why I have to get started on scanning all my stuff and saving it into my pen drive. So no matter where I am, I will still have pictures of my Scholar of the Year award, Dance Mag articles, dance posters, my PMR result slip, emo rock songs, entries of my Year 2000 journal,..all those little things to remind me of myself and who I am, in case I ever lose my way. Kudos to Mom who gave me this idea when she found me sobbing because I discovered I couldn't carry ALL my stuff to US.

3) This brings me to the 3rd requirement of Stephie's Lappie. a HUGE MEMORY SPACE. I think I might take a look at one of those flash memory modules...what are those anyway ? I think 1 or 2 USB ports are enough, right ? Just for pendrives...What are Firewall ports btw??

4) A MULTIFORMAT BURNER. For all my CDs and DVDs.External or internal ? I think I'll try to get an external one. Just in case if I need to repair it, then I'll have to lose the whole laptop to those evil computer fixers if I have an internal one right ?

5) WEBCAM. Hello, don't you all want to see my beautiful face ?

6) BATTERY LIFE. At least my new lappie has to last about 5 hours...without recharging. Don't think I should get a 2nd battery, wouldn't make much sense..

7) MICROSOFT OFFICE programmes. Word, Excel, PowerPoint, all the basic programmes. I'm wondering whether I should have them pre installed to save trouble & time or do it myself since I will have time/ will make it at any rate, then I can have all the cool stuff I want. And I was thinking of whether I should take Windows XP or Vista. Vista looks so cool...but XP is safer and more reliable..Besides, Vista takes up all that memory space and slows laptops down.

Oh yea, I want all those cool digital media/ design & multimedia programmes too ! Can anyone recommend ? Plus I want the VCD Gear programme...

8) WI FI & INTERGRATED BLUETOOTH. I have to get one with a Wi-Fi card that meets the Draft N standards and a Bluetooth 2.1 with an Enhanced Data Rate ( EDR ) Draft N's basically means faster and a broader range of WI FI connectivity. EDR means I can bluetooth things to and from my computer at a faster rate. Yay, everything must be fast fast fast !

9) POWER SAVING FEATURES AND AS ECO-FRIENDLY AS POSSIBLE. Don't look at me like that, we should all try to save the planet in as many little ways as we can ! Besides, power saving features are good...

10) A VERY VERY GOOD & COMFORTABLE KEYBOARD.

Oka7, my mom is back so we're leaving for the PC fair in a bit..wish me luck ppl !!! AND TELL ME IF THERE"S ANYTHING I MISSED OUT !!! Besides my nice-to-have list.......

Notes to Self.

Haha, I skipped a workout today because I came back really late last night, doing a cultural show in Cyberjaya


( Note to self : Must be able to fit a cheongsam perfectly before end of this month..


What's it with the cut of the cheongsam and its partiality towards small busted women...I blame the traditional upperclass Chinese woman's figure on the lack of dairy products and lengthy matchmaking parties.
No matter what the American Association of Dairy Products say about low fat milk, milk is milk, it will make you grow bigger, I shan't use the word ' fatter' because everything can make you fat, not just milk, and it's a tad unfair to blame milk for obesity instead of the lack of self control and other environmental/lifestyle causes, and yes, back to the point, infants grow 70% bigger during the first 12 months if I'm not mistaken, feeding only on breast milk and adoring attention from devotees, sorry, I mean their devoted parents.



Look at cows ! Calfs wean only on their mothers' milk and look how much they grow within the first 3 months ! So, if you want to grow any body part bigger, take milk. Specifically, take it with papaya. I guarantee you'll get sea shells and beyond **** soon.


And as for the latter, lengthy matchmaking parties require girls to sip and sip and sip Chinese tea and ONLY Chinese tea for the whole day, while smiling demurely and trying to win attention from potential mother-in-laws. Hey, these events are very stressful okay ? Think about it, how can they not lose weight with all that stress, the reputed fat burning and slimming quali ties of Chinese tea, and a no-food diet ? How can they not be willowly slim ? And they sometimes have to show off their skills like dancing, playing the gu zheng and other Chinese musical instruments, or making tea, or worse, cooking ! Even the art of conversation - memorising poems and prose to sound intelligent but not too intelligent and racking up their heads to think of tactful but impactful compliments to the targetted mother-in-law and husband - are very the calorie-burning la.


But they should just make bigger cheongsams...who wears a size 32A these days with McD's, Margaritas, and entertaining Media who keep us glued to our couches..)


So, here I am, very happy after a carbo deluxe breakfast of cereal and bread ( smiles very very contentedly ),


surfing the web, researching on laptops and USB drives ( it's preparation for my visit to the PC fair later. Promised bossie I'd go find him something good ;) Like maybe a Thai girl...You want you want..very fair price... )


and reading The Star online too.


( I finished reading NST earlier during OC and Numb3rs already ! OC is just so the drama, even if you

miss half the show or an episode or two, it really doesn't matter, because almost every episode has someone dying, or drowning, or drinking, or doing drugs, or partying, or ranting out their rages, or getting back together with someone, or dating someone else, or having a sex life crises, or getting divorced/married/engaged. See ? You don't have to watch it anymore, I've basically told you the whole plot line. I watch Numb3rs because I'm trying to learn more about Math without actually doing it ! Besides, it's a lot more fun learning about those little obsecure facts of Math which textbooks fail to fascinate through decently realistic crime scenes and cute lead characters who have really boring but gradually getting better love lives. )


And the Star has thie lovely write up on the Amber chess tournament !!!

http://www.thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2008/4/11/lifeliving/20856473&sec=lifeliving



Picture taken from today’s Star.

This chess tournament is really cool, you play the whole game 'blindfolded' which means you have to remember all the moves you've made since you won't be able to see the chess board physically. Gosh, I really really wanted to go for this tournament years ago when I was still a member of the Chess club at SBU...reading about it brings back hazy memories of my dad laughing at me and volunteering to teach me Chess.

Why did I stop playing ???

I am going to the PC Fair today, and I shall not look like techo-noob. I shall look and sound like a very intellectual technie or do they call them techies or teckies ? Whatever la, I'm going to read up some info on those laptops now.

BECAUSE I'M GONNA NEED ONE THERE TO KEEP ON BLOGGING AND KEEPING IN TOUCH WITH ALL OF YOU AND HUMOURING/BORING YOU ALL WITH THIS BLOG.


**** It's a joke I read recently. Okay people, tell me why mermaids wear seashells ?



Because they're too big for B-shells and too small for D-shells







I got this picture from Shawn from his blog..more like stole it lol..go read it at trickflip.blogspot.!!!

Direction

Direction.
Just something Tarrant said the other day when we met up to get our SPM cert.


( Gosh all the teachers seem to have this similar train of thought; if 2 ex students of different gender come back to school together..they must be together ! As in a couple, girlfriend/boyfriend, special relationship, etc )


Cornily old fashioned la...passe sudah..times have changed and platonic relationships are very 'in' now, what with our 30-something-single-and -happily -so -career women and xxx times divorced men who're -too- scared -to -pursue -another -steady, -long -term -committed relationship again.


Direction. He says I'm lacking direction in my blog, the usual rantings and ravings and ( this is a complaint from everyone except my dance friends ) too many dance posts. Well, lately I haven't been posting up anything. I just didn't make time for my blog, and when I had any free time, all I wanted to do was to watch TV and talk to my mom or dream about dance and read my increasing collection of magazines.


I think I'm lacking direction in my life at this point of time.
The important things I procrastinate, like cleaning up my room, sewing new shoes, packing stuff, doing health checkups,...The not so important things but things I find more important, like practising dance ( which somehow these days, is starting to become more of a chore than a joy ) , reading, meeting up with friends, cardio-ing ( I've really become addicted to the treadmill machine ! I need to work myself on it for at least 30mins every day ! Keeps me from going insane.. Walking off the anger, boredom, and stress is so incredibily theraputic. And I tell you, runner's high is NOT a myth ! It has been scientifically proven !


But I still feel unfulfilled. I feel a sense of emptyness. This queer situation I'm in is so different from the life of busyness and hectic madness I'm used to. I'm not used to being COMPLACENT. I WANT TO BE A BUSY WORKING BEE !!!
I'm bored with my life right now. I want something more rigid, demanding, something with a sense of urgency.


Oh gosh, I want direction.


Blinded by the temporary joy meaningless activities give, i've been led away from God. But I had a very long talk with Benjamin about God yesterday, it was very enlightening. Never cease to pray...annointing..the Trinity, Father, Spirit, Son......


He made me realise that I've reached a sort of plateau in my spiritual walk with God too. I know, it's crazy, my up and downtimes with God.
Somehow, I don't talk to Him in the same way anymore. I'm so tired. I don't want to struggle with this strange weariness alone. This tidak-apa attitude that I'm just so..not used to. I'm not me. This is an alien Stephanie. It's as if I'm not in control of myself anymore, because I don't care anymore. My brain is mixed with realization of what's right and an indifference towards what's wrong.
I feel so freaking weird sometimes when I do some of the things I do; a great example would be food. Haha, imagine a Toxic Tuesday everyone...
But in my new New King James version of the Bible ( Courtesy of generous Benjamin ! ), Psalm 69 gives me hope. The 5th verse already says, O God, You know my foolishness.


God knows what I've been up to. And only He has the capasity and the capability to forgive the sins that I've done. The Lord knows how much I've sinned. Sin keeps you apart from God. The more you sin, the further you go away from God.


If I could be like Hiro ( of Heroes' fame, that s'upid tv show ), I'd reverse time and erase all the stupid things I've done.


But I can't. And the only thing I can do now is to pray for forgiveness, direction, and verses 16 in Psalm 69 : Hear me, O Lord, for Your lovingkindness is good, Turn to me according to the multitude of Your tender mercies.


Geez..as extremely emotional as this sounds…I've almost forgotten how right the words of the Bible sound. And how they never cease to amaze me with their appropriate-ness of context, time,place, and need. I've almost forgotten, how good God is, and how wide His unfailing love.

My Saviour..
My Lord..
My God..
and My Father.

Testing the words, 1,2,3…

Wow, rereading this made me realise what a long droning post this is...


BTW
Has anyone heard of the Save Sufiah programme ?
It's bloody stupid how Malaysians think of themselves ( great big egos we have lol, I mean, generally as a population ) as SAVIOURS. Hello, just because her mom's Malaysian and from Muar but so what ? She's a British national, she has got nothing to do with us - she was never educated in Malaysia, spent her life abroad, - Why do we have to offer our help to her ?
She clearly doesn't need it, she's got a good head on her shoulders in my opinion, and she's smart enough to find her own way. She knows what she needs to do, just give her some space la, there's no need to condemn and gasp and go ' oh poor thing ' when there're millions of kids out there in OUR COUNTRY who deserve our help and attention far more than she does.
Save Sufiah..tolong la.......................Dia boleh........

My INSIPID / INSPIRING week.......

I've A FRIDAY OFF !!! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG !!!!

Mon - Hectic morning, followed by 3 hours of jazz and ballet class, followed by work at night. :(
Please people, there's NOTHING to blog about work. It's just...work ?

Tue - Hectic morning, followed by 1.5 hours of jazz class and 3+ hours of travelling

Wed - Work Work Work... Did not do any dancing today, even though I could have sneaked out but I didn't..Yo yo, got to prac Jazz, PDC,Celeste's ballet work, Ms Adeline's ballet work...JUMPS...TURNS..ROUTINES..BALANCES..POSITION..TURNOUT...

Thurs - RECEIVED CU Student Documents !!! MY PIC IS IN THE CATALOG !!! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG !!! Made up for non-dance day yesterday with 1 PDC ballet class and Ms Adeline's class. My lack of Stamina left me a zombie by 7 pm, did not do anything productive except read my CU student documents and cry and cry and bawl my eyes out.
I'm leaving...and it's so scary..all these halls and housing stuff..and fees...and I HAVE TO TAKE STUDENT PLACEMENT TESTS !!!!!!!!!! what the ??? SOME ONE TUTOR ME IN MATH PLEASE !!!!!!!1

Fri - ;) GIRLIE HANG OUT DAY WITH MY BELOVED SIS !!!! I don't care, for once, I shall not prac dance during my free time, I've precious little time to spend with my family now.

margaritas...............

You wanna know what's on my mind ????

Some people asked me why didn't I blog about the election ? Hello, I was way too busy keeping track of it and discussing it and staying on top of all the juicy gossip and reading all those so called poisonous emails to be blogging bout it ! =)

Pre Election
Nervous anticipation

During Election
Glee, laughter, and ridicule

Post Election
Irritation. Like, GET ON WITH THE PROGRAMME LA!

Sore losers...having all these protests, and backstabbing, and spreading rumors, and refusing to acknowledge so and so, and lashing of tongues...ain't gonna help la.
Get on with the programme.

I'm really sick of politics now, some of you know I also blog at H.L's for socio-political issues/comments, because mine is a strictly personal life/dance blog and I don't want anything overly dirty/sick/disgusting in it, thanks very much.

Another reason is this; dancers go to my blog to read about dance, socially/politically conscious people go to H.L's to read ( or laugh ) about the state of our country's socio-political affairs.

Different blogs cater for different things, why be a Jack of all trades and Master of none ? Bazir masa aja...Setiap benda ada tempatnya dan setiap perkara ada sebabnya.. ;) my BM still sounds decent !

Seriously, don't complain if you find my blog too saturated with dance/complains/happy-fyingly lame stuff/Stephy deluxe style crap. It's mine ! That's why you come here to read it right ? You come here to read about me. And what I like/dislike/love/heart/crap/emo-ing about. Don't sigh if you see another dance post, just skip it ! The power of the scroller is in your hands.

By the way, I'm emo-ing now..I'm sick, with a whooping, hacking cough, my voice sounds 'sickly sexy', according to Tracy. I have to agree with here though, I think I can pass for one of those ..em..girls who can do phone sex with their deeply stimulating porno voice.

' ...Made me feel something somewhere, where, no other women has ever been able to make me feel before...' - Marc, Ugly Betty

And my SPM CERT !!!! ....

Better run now, got stuff to do. Love you all, despite the cold stares and shaking of heads you give me when you see another of my dance posts.........Thanks for loving me as I am ! I love you too !!!

Love may be an over rated word these days, but as Michael Jackson once said, " I'm a lover, not a fighter " ( The Girl is Mine, sung by MJ and Paul McCatfree, sorry McCartney )

Malaysian Punctuality

Hey, everyone knows Malaysian time's different from the standard one the rest of the world's used to, right ? We're Malaysians, Malaysia Boleh Special la.

We run generally 5 - 15 MINUTES later than everyone else. There's just so many things we have to do that prevents us from being early or even being on time. Leaving the house 5 minutes earlier is really out of the question, what if I'm the first person there ? Then I'd have to wait for the rest ! Nah, let them wait for me instead...And there's that excuse of traffic, and with the horrid weather now, the excuse of rain. the excuse of parents/friends/bf/gf/cat/dog......

I'm freaking sick of waiting for you all to make a move. Why on earth can't you be DECISIVE ? Decide on where you want to go and eat and just GO. What's with the 'customary' hanging around and struggling to make polite but unsubstantial conversation to pass the time just to ' wait' for XXXX ? Is it some sort of tradition I,as a Malaysian, am not aware about ?

Some people just have no idea how IRRITATING it is to waste time. I just loathe hanging out with people who can't decide what to do and rather waste time chatting about mindless gossip. I just loathe waiting for people who really have NO VALID EXCUSE to keep me waiting.

STOP WASTING TIME !!!! LET''S JUST GO ALREADY !!!

Look what Google came up with on me.....

http://wms.edu.my/spm.html

Wesley...you make me wanna cry.....

http://wms.edu.my/scholar.html

K after viewing my testimonial..I tersangat ingin balik...to Form 5...to have my school life back. I'd cherish it a lot more and do more outrageous things that I missed on doing. But I don't regret the choices I made on how to spend my time and who I chose to spend it with, I really don't regret skipping out on shopping and movie trips and going for dance/music classes,volunteer work ( although it was agony deciding!) and study stuff instead. I just regret ffk-ing my friends. Sometimes I wonder, if I hadn't spent so much time studying..would I have been a better dancer now ? Would I have been a better friend if I went out every weekend with my gfs on shopping trips and other girlie past times ? Would I have been a better person if I onlined more,watched TV & MTV like normal kids do, and did parties and hung out and got to know other people from the socialsphere, instead of spending time traveling between school and all those extra things and sleeping from sheer exhaustion?

Man, I'm bad at time management la.
Or maybe, I just doubt myself and my capabilities.

Astro and I

Who am I kidding ? If I DON'T GET STARTED..LIKE SOON !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and STOP P-ing...
This is like school all over again...the exam-coming-soon-but-still-unmotivated-to-make-a-studying-move- senario.

Anyway, I googled myself for fun. Wanted to see whether I'm worth mentioning to some people.
Guess what? I am.

Prime Minister Presents Datin Seri Endon Mahmood and ASTRO Scholarship Awards
20-Aug-2007 - Article taken fr www.astroplc.com

Prime Minister, YAB Dato' Seri Abdullah bin Haji Ahmad Badawi, today presented ASTRO Scholarship Awards to eleven (11) deserving students as part of a higher education scholarship programme.

Currently in its second year, The ASTRO Scholarship Awards programme offers scholarships for undergraduate and graduate courses in local and foreign higher learning institutions. This unique programme allows scholars, who have keen interest in the broadcasting and media industry, to pursue a relevant area of study such as Engineering, Computer Science, Humanities, Mass Communications and Dramatic Arts (acting, stage design and film production), as well as Computer Graphics.

As part of the ASTRO Scholarship Programme, two (2) outstanding students have been selected to be the recipients of the Datin Seri Endon Mahmood Award for performing arts and humanities. This award was established in memory and recognition of the late wife of Prime Minister YAB Dato' Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, and Founder of Yayasan Budi Penyayang Malaysia, to honour her commitment in revitalizing and strengthening the culture, art and heritage of Malaysia.

This year's Datin Seri Endon Mahmood Award recipients are Mohamed Hazeman Huzir, who will be pursuing a Bachelor of Arts in English and Literature at the International Islamic University of Malaysia and Stephanie Lee Su Ling who will be attending the Texas University to study Dance & Journalism.

Out of the remaining nine (9) Astro Scholarship Awards recipients, two (2) will pursue their studies in one of our many exceptional local universities while seven (7) will pursue their degrees overseas. Scholars who will be attending a local university of their choice are Khairun Nisa Mohamed Zabidi, who will be studying Bachelor of Arts (Mass Communications and Public Relations) at the Universiti Teknologi MARA and Kausilyaa a/p Rajakumar, who will be studying Bachelor of Engineering (Electrical & Electronics) at the Universiti Teknologi Petronas.
The students heading abroad are Anwari Ashraf Hashim, who will be studying Film & TV Studies at the Middlesex University, UK; Abu Bakar Siddiq, who will be studying Directing & Cinematography at the Full Sail University, USA; Siti Shazlina Mahadi, who will be studying Neuroscience at the University of Edinburgh, UK; Shriram Venugopal, who will be studying Electronics & Communications Engineering at the University of Nottingham, UK; Shawn Liam, who will be studying Multimedia & Computer Graphics at the Queensland University of Technology, Australia; Joel Lee, who will be studying Electrical and Electronics Engineering at the University of New South Wales, Australia; and Jason Kang, who will be studying Design for Advertising at the London College of Communication, UK.

With the latest additions, ASTRO now has twenty-five (25) students under the ASTRO Scholarship scheme. All of them will be offered a place at ASTRO to begin their careers upon the completion their courses.

ASTRO's chairman YBhg Dato' Haji Badri Haji Masri said, "The ASTRO Scholarship Programme was established in the effort of nurturing creative talent and develop human capital in the media and broadcasting industry. Offered exclusively to the immediate family members of Astro's subscribers, the scholarship awards are part of Astro's customer loyalty recognition and community development outreach."

The unique Astro Scholarship Award programme prides itself by being different from other corporate scholarship programmes by offering, not only world-class education, but also a promising career with ASTRO, and a specific development programme which includes a one-on-one mentorship with a senior ASTRO executive and internship with ASTRO's businesses and divisions in Malaysia and across the region, as well as ASTRO's international business partners, to combine academic rigour with practical industry exposure.

Bursary value of the scholarships ranges from RM8,000 per year for scholars pursuing a degree course in Malaysia to RM150,000 per year for scholars studying overseas. This will cover the students' tuition, living expenses, air travel where warranted, insurance, and internship expenses. By the fifth year, ASTRO hopes to sponsor 60 or more of Malaysia's brightest and talented students to pursue undergraduate and post graduate courses recognized by the Public Service Department (PSD), both locally and abroad.

The ASTRO Scholarship Award had attracted hundreds of applicants from across the country, from fresh SPM school leavers to those currently in the industry's workforce. Selection depends on an all-round combination of academic excellence, leadership in extra-curricular and community outreach activities, and involvement in the local performing arts. Short-listed candidates were evaluated based on a rigorous process involving essays, character and behavioral screen tests, and presentation of creative works, with the final selection done by a luminous panel which included representatives from local and foreign academic institution.
The presentation ceremony was in commemoration with Yayasan Budi Penyayang Founders' Day and Official Opening of Wisma Penyayang at Seri Kembangan, as part of the continuous collaboration between the foundation and the ASTRO Group's corporate social responsibility efforts.

- end -

ABOUT ASTRO
ASTRO ALL ASIA NETWORKS plc is the region's leading cross-media operator with Direct-To-Home satellite multi-channel television services in Malaysia and Brunei and soon, in Indonesia. It is the country's leader in commercial radio, and publishes Malaysia's most widely circulated magazine, the Astro Guide. The ASTRO Entertainment Network produces over 20 television channels of original and aggregated content of various genres in multiple languages. Celestial Pictures owns the world's largest Chinese Film library and its digitally remastered films are released internationally through theatrical, video, television and new media distribution, and the Celestial Movies channels. The strength of these complementary brands has extended into interactive and multi-media services, including provision of content for mobile devices. AAAN operates out of the All Asia Broadcast Centre, a fully-integrated digital broadcast and production complex in Kuala Lumpur

My Google search also showed that I'm mentioned on NST and The Star, our local daily newspapers. hmm...kinda depressing yet happy-fying in a way. I mean, I'm not mentioned in any weirdo's blog, at least not my full name...but on the other hand...

Sigh, having a fever and a real sore throat now...my bedtime headache is coming, my room is yet to be cleaned, my stuff is still in a mess, and I haven't gotten my luggage bag yet. Well, at least I sorted out my flight tickets...

Why am I so depressed bout leaving ? It's not like I've never left home before.
Should I come back for holidays ?????????

KIASU REGRET VS REALISM

21st March - 15th July.
How many days are there left for me to enjoy Malaysia ?

There're so many things I've yet to do !!! And so many things I'm procrastinating !!!

The pile of 'kiasu regret' is getting higher and higher and higher and higher.

There're some things that I want to do because I'm 'kiasu', the infamous Malaysian/Singaporean - scared- of -losing- syndrome. I just want to do them so..I've done them, accomplished those things that teenagers do ! For instance, I want to

• check out KL's clubbing scene since I'm FINALLY 18, PARTY ! PARTY! PARTY! Hang out with all my cool mates...;)
• take blogging really seriously and make a really gorgeous blog with loads of gorgeous pictures & photos & write tons of interesting articles,
• go to all the music/local gigs/MPOs/concerts/conventions/performing arts events
• visit all the art exhibitions and watch language/art films,
• do something really meaningful for charity,
• date and fall in love,
• eat all the famous Malaysian street foods ! In small,moderate portions of course..but there're so many many many places that I want to go and eat....I've got a whole book on 'em... Wanna eat roti bom, roti canai, mee kahwin, char kuey teow, rojak, cendol - I'VE NEVER HAD A PLATE OF ALL THESE DISHES TO MYSELF IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, I'm one sad Malaysian eh ?
• meet up with EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FRIENDS before I leave ! Mamak and yum cha and shop and check out all those places that I've always wanted to go to !

But when I look at this list.. some of them are just so unrealistic and..not me.

The realistic things I have to do;

1) Fall in love. With Jesus Christ Superstar again.

2) Clean my room, get it ready for my sis. Get ready for uni - all that official paperwork which I'm so dreading...wtheck I should be packing up my stuff for uni already....But I am clearing up my stuff..gradually...Does anyone want my dance mags ? Maybe I should just donate my dance collection to TDS.

3) *** haha, this is extremely personal **** sew my soft ballet shoes and tights - Major procrastination of 2008

4)DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE WITH MY SPARE TIME APART FROM DANCE AND WORK. - SOMETHING THAT CAN PRODUCE VISIBLE RESULTS.

5) Practise PhotoReading. Omgosh, I still have almost 14 books ( NEW ) that I haven't touched !

6) Write letters.

7) Get me triple turns and split jumps and 'dancer's maturity' and technique UP TO STANDARD. And quit obsessing about class outside of class.

8) Spend time with the people who really matter to me; my family and my very small social circle of Besties.

9)Take a personal risk for charity. Haha, I can't really explain it here, ask me if you really want to know !!! ;)

10) Write essays, brush up my Math & English & comp skills, travel, go for Christian Education classes, participate in arts and music festivals,

11) GET RID OF EYE BAGS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and P.E.C ! and D.B.C !!!

Kiasu regret list and Kinda More Realistic Me List.

Let's just combine both la...can we ? In a space of 4 months ?

TIME TIME TIME TIME TIME TIME TIME

MANAGEMENT.

HELP..GIVE MY STRENGTH.

Celeste Theunissen - MY jazz teacher of approx 2 years at time of writing ;)

MY TEACHER IS SO SO SO SO GORGEOUS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

These gorgeous pics are taken fr http://sandbox.mydancer.net

Mine is there as well, but obv I'm not as pretty as my teacher/sifu...

GO VIEW THE HISTORY OF CELESTAR STUDIO !!! AND DEF DEF MUST CHECK OUT THE PROFILE OF MY TEACHER !!!!!!!!!!!!

The Random Things I want / HAVE to DO before I leave

Title says it all.

1) Tone up and get to my ideal weight and at the VERY VERY LEAST LOOK LIKE A PROFESSIONAL DANCER.

2) DANCE LIKE A PROFESSIONAL DANCER - Get my technique and consistency up ! This is like..practically all I ever do/obsess/think/dream about these days..... Triple turns both in Ballet and Jazz, SPLIT SPLIT SPLIT 2metres high GRAND JETE ELANCES and SCISSORS LEAPS..
But aside from that, I want to achieve the maturity of a dancer too - emotionally and mentally. I need to think and relax and truly just dance from the heart and soul. Cannot cannot cannot have a stupid fog/mental barrier/blackout/blurout/panic attack. " CANNOT." - oh so celeste....

eh, sorry sorry, this post is supposed to be about the RANDOM things I want/have to do before I leave, not about the goals I'm working towards. That's another blog post.

Aiyah..salah salah ...Never mind, I shall just continue writing. So what if terkeluar tajuk ( or whatever they used to say to us in high school when we wrote about a different subject from the essay topic given ). This IS MY BLOG after all. A record of my thoughts and all the 2320930293 different voices/personalities in my head.

So to retitle this post : My 2 main goals before I fly off on the 15th of July. - *** yuck, how uninspiring.....steph, what happened to your creative juices? dried up along with your tears last night ? ****

How much time do I really have left ?

I'M LEAVING.

Booked my ticket just now.
15th July.










OMGosh !!!!!!!!!!
IT'S A ONE WAY TICKET !!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Suddenly ,I feel so... so...argh, I wanted to blog bout my jazz classes and ballet classes yesterday but this news superseeds all...

One way ticket.
A one way ticket
MY one way ticket
The one way ticket.


The only other thing I remember as one way is the song by Planet Shakers.
'One way, Jesus, You're the only one that I could live for '.

Today's the 18th of March, well, technically 19th already. 4 more months to the Jazz 5 exam and the BJDW workshop. 4 more months of Malaysia.

The Moment of Truth

'Who do you say I am?' (Mark 8:27)

This is the question Jesus asked his disciples. At the time, people had all sorts of opinions about Jesus - everything from a demon possessed lunatic to the Savior of the world. Jesus knows that how a person answers this question will set the tone for every other area of life.

No different today - which is why you need to answer this question as well. Here's the way The Chronicles of Narnia writer named C.S. Lewis put it:

A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic - on the level with a man who says he is a poached egg - or he would be the devil of hell. You must take your choice. Either this was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. ( Mere Christianity )

Question #2-

'Who are you looking for?' (John 20:15)

This is the question Jesus asked Mary Magdalene as she looked into the empty tomb of Christ. She had heard that Jesus had come back, that He really is God, and that all His promises must be true. Yet...someone coming back from the dead??? So even with Jesus standing right in front of her, she didn't recognize Him.

Who are you looking for? Did you know Jesus stands before you at this very moment with the offer of salvation? Or do you doubt this truth because it seems so impossible? Maybe you are at the empty tomb of Jesus, ready to give your life to the One who can truly fulfill you, but you are still looking for that in someone or something else. A boyfriend or girlfriend. A future career. An academic award. A sports achievement.

Who do you say Jesus is?

Who are you looking for?

It's time for your Moment of Truth.

I got this article from dare2share.org. God is really amazing, He reaches out to me, somehow and some way. But that's what He's good at !

By the way, about dare2share.org - It's an awesome Christian webmag that actually doesn't sound preachy and has some pretty cool & relevant & intellectually challenging articles. Being Christian has more facades than one.......

Frustration caused by an Unreplied Text Message can be cured by Runga Bic

Don't stray
Don't ever go away
I simply should be much to smart for this
You know it gets the better Of me
sometimes When you and I collide
I fall into an ocean of you
Pull me out in time Don't let me drown
Let me down
I say its all because of you
and here I go
Losing my control
I'm practising your name
So I can say it to your face it doesn't seem right
To look you in the eye
And let all the things you mean to me
Come tumbling out my mouth indeed its time
Tell you why I say its infinitely true
Say you'll stay
Don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you

And there's no cure
And no way to be sure
Why everythings turned inside out
Instilling so much doubt
It makes me so tired I feel so uninspired
My head is battling with my heart
My logic has been torn apart
And now It all turns sour
Come sweeten
Every afternoon

Say you'll stay
Don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you
Say you'll stay
Don't come and go
Like you do

Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you
Its all because of you
Its all because of you

I love Runga Ric !!! Sway's my flavour of the day...Man, I'm so longing for you...RETURN MY SMS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sway my way............

By the way, some of you may be interested to know...her mom's a Chinese Malaysian. :) Her dad's a Maori warrior ;) She can play drums, guitar, piano, and she was part of many local jazz bands in NZ where she grew up in her teens.

And she's married ! I want her latest album ' Birds ' !!!!!