COMPETITION

Why does life always seem like such a competition all of a sudden ?

Mother K ( K for her name and also for KIASU ) came up to me and asked me about her daughter's progress in class. Actually, all she really wanted to know was whether her daughter had the potential to become a dancer, and if so, was she getting too fat ? Her concerns mainly centred around her daughter's size, eating habits, and physical activity, and they all could be summed up in a single questions ( which, incidentally, she kept repeating during our 40minute chat ), " Is my daughter too big ? I don't want her to get fat, otherwise she won't be the thinnest girl in your class "

I felt like screaming, or throwing something, stabbing a cow, butchering a horse or even just slamming the door and walking off in a huff would have made me feel loads better. Instead, I 'smiled ' a 'sympathetic' teacher type of smile, and just offered a very weak excuse for leaving [ and running away from her as far as I possibly can ]

WHAT THE HELL.

What's the deal with all this competition ? Give her a break ! Why does your daughter have to be so super thin for ? Why does she need to compete with the other girls for ? Why do you have to be so super kiasu with your daughter ? Blar lar k ( this is steph-speak for get lost )

You always want BIGGER discounts when you go shopping, BIGGER salaries, BIGGER houses, BIGGER cars, BIGGER, grander holidays, BIGGER numbers of A's on your child's report card, BIGGER portions of food even when you go out to eat.

So what the heck is wrong if your daughter grows up to become a little bit plumper, more womanly, and curvier ( ultimately sexier than you ha ! ) ? You know what's her problem ? It's actually not the daughter's size, it's really about the daughter's size being an advantage in this so-called competitive world of dance.

To me, dance is only competitive if you make it to be. What do all dancers compete for ? They don't compete against others. They compete against themselves. They want to be the best they possibly can, and it's their own personal achievement and goals. NOT everyone's dance goals are to be the next ABT prima ballerina. And certainly not the world' thinnest ballerina...


Why do we always have to be the best ? Do what you can, and do it to the best of your abilities.

But who am I to talk ? Here I am,busy trying to compete with older and more established bloggers who have better pictures, better style of writing, more interesting topics, more readers & commentors, richer boyfriends ( hell even the existance of one would make me a little envious, just a little ), more disciplined spiritual lives, etc.

- secret confession, yo, give me some respect for admitting your secret desires UPFRONT and some sympathy too for getting sucked up into e-popularity -

but I've come to realise ( thanks to a bitch slap from my sis )
that bloggers blog for themselves.

Who really cares about how your day was, what hurts you , who irritates you, your poems, the love of your life, honestly speaking, would anyone of you care if I don't get into a university of my choice or if I'm a total failure in ballet ?

Do YOU really care about other people or do you just read their blog for cheap entertainment - I mean cheap as in the price of online reading material compared to movie-ing, clubbing, drinking, NOT the quality of a blogger's post, no siree, I ain't offending no fellow blogger - ?

LIFE JUST GOES ON. THE SAME.

To all my silent readers out there, I think you're all gorgeous and simply lovely for taking the time to read about my life. And I'm really gonna try and make everything really readable, because I really wanna share my dance life and ( a bit of ) my personal life with you guys. But, I ain't bloggin to satisfy you.

I'm bloggin to satisfy myself.

I do what I can do best; write and dance. And I'm gonna keep doing my best.
Not to beat you and you and you,
But to beat myself.

~ I am my own worst enemy, Oscar Wilde. ~