The Thoughtless Things I Do Sometimes

Today I saw this really really old lady - all stooped over, with a horrible hunchback, and she was carrying a huge plastic bag and climbing up the stairs to the LRT at Taman Jaya, PJ. For those who've been there, those stairs are pretty steep. And she must have been ancient. I mean..gosh, even I get breathless sometimes climbing that tower of torture, the authorities really really should install a lift / elevator for us poor unfit mortals.

She was going up, albeit slowly but surely, one stone step at a time,wobbly and all huffy.

And you know what I did ?

Stephanie Lee just climbed down the stairs, without even giving her a second glance.

It wasn't until she paused at the staircase for a moment to wipe salty sweat off her face, only did I notice her.

And I didn't help. I just stood there and ..gawked ? I didn't go up and offer to carry her bag to wherever she was going, or smiled, or said ' auntie ' and give polite sympathy ( which is what someone said I should have done, instead of just staring at her like us Malaysians are so apt at doing )

I'm such a thoughtless and selfish bitch.

And today, for the first time, I noticed all the litter along the road which I walk on to and fro everyday. How come I've never bothered to pick them up ?

I've also sent a very curt message to a friend, when all he did was ask me how was my day. And it turns out he had a terrible day at work. AND YET, he knew I was having my driving lesson today and was considerate enough to remember my struggles with the wheel.

( We used to be tuition mates in Form 3,a really short spell because I can't take the pressure of mass tuition classes. He'd give me yellow post-it notes with smiley faces whenever I got screamed at by the teacher, and once, he left a choc bar for me when I told him I had a dance exam and couldn't attend class.)

And sorry, WM, for being a bit rude when you asked me about my dinner plans tomorrow.

DAMN ME.
You know what, I actually have a bit more sympathy for our health minister now, Dr Chua...I know what he did was just plain wrong from every possible angle and as a politician,leader,and government servant, he has to maintain higher moral standards.

But he made a bad decision to do what he did, he lost control of his moral judgement - perhaps for the first time? we don't know - . I think it was a thoughtless, maybe impulsive act of lust and loneliness. I personally cannot comprehend how his wife can stand by him and forgive him for that, but I know someone who has forgiven her husband many many times for his affairs with other women.

And I know a person whose capability to forgive is simply, unbelievably, astounding; My Saviour, the Prince of Peace [ ' Forever and ever ', that song from the CIF musical is STILL stuck in my head...geezers... ]

Father in Heaven, hallowed be thy name...Forgive our sins,and help us forgive those who sin against us, lead us not to temptation and protect us from evil. AMEN